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Al-Cordoby  
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 23 August 2009 at 10:21pm
Muslim Society and the Care of the Elderly
 
Islam is the religion of compassion and justice, a religion that teaches perfect morals and forbids bad conduct, a religion that grants man his dignity if he adheres to the laws of Allah.

There can be no doubt that Islam has given the elderly a special status, as there are texts which urge Muslims to respect and honor them. Care of the elderly in Islam is based on a number of focal points, including the following:

1. Man is an honored creature and has an honorable status in Islam.

Allah says: “And indeed We have honored the Children of Adam, and We have carried them on land and sea, and have provided them with lawful good things, and have preferred them above many of those whom We have created with a marked preferment” (Al-Israa’: 70).

So the elderly, as children of Adam, are included in this high status, based on the general meaning of this verse.

2. Muslim society is the society of mutual compassion and coherence.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) described the believers as being like a single body. He (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The likeness of the believers in their mutual love, mercy, and compassion is that of the body; if one part of it complains, the rest of the body joins it in staying awake and suffering fever” (Muslim).

The Prophet is also reported to have said: None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself” (Al-Bukhari). He also said: “The Most Merciful has mercy on those who are merciful. Be merciful to those who are on earth so that the One Who is in heaven will have mercy on you” (At-Tirmidhi).

3. The Muslim society is a society of cooperation and mutual support. ...

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Part of glorifying Allah is honoring the grey-haired Muslim” (Abu Dawud). .......

These are the way in which the Muslim society takes care of the elderly.

a. Enjoining good treatment of parents

b. Enjoining honoring one’s parents’ friends, even after the parents have passed away, and regarding that as part of honoring one’s parents.

'The best way of honoring one’s parents is for the son to keep in touch with his father’s friends.’” ........

This is one of the forms of elder care in Islam. When the members of the Muslim society visit the friends of their parents they help to include the elderly in society and put an end to the isolation they feel, which in turn reduces the impact of the social and psychological changes that the elderly go through

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503548072

 

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 24 August 2009 at 10:29pm

Rights of the Elderly

An important dimension to understand is that the elderly have rights on society, as when they were young they performed their duties towards society by caring for the elderly ....

Islam is a religion which keeps a close balance between rights and duties, and especially with parents they have many rights which their sons and daughters are expected to fulfill
 
Q: We often hear of some people’s ingratitude to their parents. My parents are elderly. I would like to know what my duties are to them, according to Islam
 
A: Islam pays great attention to caring about the elderly and guaranteeing them an honorable life. The jurists have tackled the importance of providing medical, physical, and religious care for the elderly and making them aware of their rights. So the community should provide them with care and protection ..........
 
 
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 26 August 2009 at 2:25pm

Mothers.....

From Surah al-Rahman are the glorious words of our Creator: "Then which of the favors of your Lord will your deny?"

Yet how often we deny the greatest of favors that the Bestower has granted us. This favor, in the form of a woman......

A woman who carried us within her for almost a whole year of her short life in this world, bearing every hardship and discomfort to protect and nurture our frail being as the Fashioner gently prepared us to come into this worldly realm....

A woman who braved death's door, embracing pain unimaginable to even the most stalwart of warriors, that our tiny form may chance to take its first breath, open its eyes to the light of a new home, and feel her warm, soft caress, as she forgets all that she went through, to make comfortable our awakening into a new world....

A woman who had forsaken rest, slumber, and dreams for far too many nights; to rise instead, and answer the pitiful wail of a helpless creature that always new she would be there to answer its plaintive cry, even as the whole world slumbered on into the dead of the night......

A woman who bore weakness to give forth from her being, a pure and heavenly nectar to nourish our growing bodies and our thirsty souls with sustenance to define our humanity ever onward......

A woman who watered and pruned our character with all the patience and care of a master gardener turning a wild shrub into a beautiful tree.......

A woman who was always there for us, no matter how many backs were turned to us, no matter how many doors closed in our face, to give us a shoulder to cry on, an ear to heed our complaint, a comforting bosom to embrace when there was no other.......

A woman who, even after all of our blunders, all of our impudence, all of our ungrateful gestures and insolent remarks, will not hesitate to say I forgive you when no one else in the world will....

A woman who we call Mother.

If we only knew her lofty station in the sight of He whose mercy is endless, a single portion of which He showered upon the world and it manifested itself as the undying compassion of the mother to her child.

"THEN WHICH OF THE FAVORS OF YOUR LORD DO YOU DENY?"

To deny is to show ingratitude. To show ingratitude is to lose one's blessings......like sand flowing through one's fingers.

To show ingratitude to the all Merciful is to show ingratitude to the means He creates out of His endless mercy. WHAT OF THE MEANS WHICH BROUGHT US INTO THE WORLD?

If one's mother is alive, then cry out of thankfulness to Allah, go to her, sit at her feet, kiss her on the forehead, look her in the eyes and tell her how blessed you are for someone like her......

Tell her how much you love her.....

And never forget the immortal words of our beloved Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):

"Paradise is under the feet of the mother...."
 
 
La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Glenn Replybullet Posted: 28 August 2009 at 4:04am
You have to make choices in caring for elderly parents and these choices are not that simple or easy. However, you have to make a choice, a decision which will make you and your parents’ lives happier and easier. Even the simplest of tasks such as assisting your elderly parents to take a bath needs some preparation on your part. You should be prepared to do it and you must know what you are doing. You must also be aware of your choices. To make the process easier for you, try talking with your friends. Talking with the people who have also been in the situation where you are in right now will give you some ideas on how you will carry out your task. You may also get an idea of what method will work out, what will fail, where and how you should start, and what expectations should you set.Please visit Gilbert Guide for more information on Caring for elderly parents .
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 29 August 2009 at 3:32pm

Jurayj and his Mother by Imam Bukhari (RA)

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Three supplications are answered without a doubt: the supplication of someone who is oppressed, the supplication of someone on a journey, and the supplication of parents for their children."

Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "No human child has ever spoken in the cradle except for 'Isa ibn Maryam, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the companion of Jurayj." Abu Hurayra asked, "Prophet of Allah, who was the companion of Jurayj?" The Prophet replied, "Jurayj was a monk who lived in a hermitage. There was a cowherd who used to come to the foot of his hermitage and a woman from the village used to come to the cowherd.

"One day his mother came while he was praying and called out, 'Jurayj!' He asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He concluded that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted to him a second time and he again asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He thought that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted a third time and yet again he asked himself, 'My mother or my prayer?' He again concluded that he should prefer the prayer. When he did not answer her, she said, 'Jurayj, may Allah not let you die until you have looked at the faces of the beautiful women.' Then she left.

"Then the village woman was brought before the king after she had given birth to a child. He asked, 'Whose is it?' 'Jurayj's,' she replied. He asked, 'The man in the hermitage?' 'Yes,' she answered. He ordered, 'Destroy his hermitage and bring him to me.' They hacked at his hermitage with axes until it collapsed. They bound his hand to his neck with a rope and took him along to the king. When he passed by the beautiful women, he saw them and smiled. They were looking at him along with the people.

"The king asked, 'Do you know what this woman claims?' 'What does she claim?' he asked. He replied, 'She claims that you are the father of her child.' He asked her, 'Where is the child?' They replied, 'It is in her room.' He went to the child and said, 'Who is your father?' 'The cowherd,' he replied. The king said, 'Shall we build your hermitage out of gold?' 'No,' he replied. He asked, 'Of silver?' 'No,' he replied. The king asked, 'What shall we build it with?' He said, 'Put it back the way you found it.' Then the king asked, 'What made you smile.' 'Something I recognised,' he replied, 'The supplication of my mother overtook me.' Then he told him about it."

 

Taken from Parents: Al-Adab al-Mufrad Al-Bukhari

La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 30 August 2009 at 11:31am
Treating the elderly gently

 

Ibn Kathir tells the following in his biography of the Prophet. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) entered Makkah in Ramadan AH 8 (January 630) and entered the Sacred Mosque, Abu Bakr brought his father, Abu Quhafah, to the Prophet to embrace Islam. When the Prophet saw him, he said to Abu Bakr, "Why didn't you leave the old man at his house and I would've gone to him there?" Abu Bakr said, "You are more deserving of him coming to you than he is of you going to him." The Prophet seated Abu Quhafah in front of him and honored him. Then he passed his hand on Abu Quhafah's chest and asked him to embrace Islam and Abu Quhafah did. The Prophet, noticing that Abu Quhafah's hair was white, directed that his hair be dyed.

These are just few examples of the Prophet's gentleness, mercy, and respect towards the elderly. These examples, and many others, translate the sublime Islamic code of ethics for treating the elderly and provide Muslims, generation after generation, with a practical model that they should follow.

 

Such care for the elderly is in line with the Islamic principle of the dignity of the human being and with the spirit of solidarity and mercy that pervades the Muslim society.


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1181062629966&pagename=Zone-English-Living_Shariah%2FLSELayout 
 

 

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 31 August 2009 at 2:28pm
 

How Do Muslims Treat the Elderly?

The strain of caring for one’s parents in this most difficult time of their lives is considered an honor and a blessing and an opportunity for great spiritual growth.  In Islam, it is not enough that we only pray for our parents, but we should act with limitless compassion, remembering that when we were helpless children, they preferred us to themselves.  Mothers are particularly honored.  When Muslim parents reach old age, they are treated mercifully, with kindness and selflessness.

In Islam, serving one’s parents is a duty second to prayer, and it is their right to expect it.  It is considered despicable to express any irritation when, through no fault of their own, the old become difficult.

http://www.islam-guide.com/ch3-15.htm

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 09 September 2009 at 4:10pm
Parents' rights in Islam 

Allah has ordered us not only to pray for our parents, but to treat them with ultimate compassion, remembering that when we were helpless children they preferred us to themselves.

When they reach old age, Muslim parents are treated mercifully, with even more kindness than they were ever. Mothers are particularly honored; Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said that 'Paradise lies at the feet of mothers'.

Allah says in the Qur'an says, in Surrah BaniIsra'il:

"Your Lord (The Creator) has ordained that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to the parents."

Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said that the parents of a person are his Heaven or Hell. Which shows that if a person obeys his parents and fulfills their needs and comforts and keeps them happy, he will enter Paradise. But if he is rude and disobedient to them and offends them by ignoring their feelings or by causing them grief, his place shall be in Hell.

Pleasing the parents causes Allah's pleasure.

Even if one's parents are polytheists, and they want him to follow them, he should refuse, yet continue to be kind and respectful to them. .......

http://www.islamonline.com/news/articles/6/Parents_rights_in_Islam.html 

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 17 September 2009 at 11:33pm

Uncomparable Love ...

An excellent talk by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi on the rights of parents...
May Allah swt make us among those who serve them well aameen...
 
 
La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2009 at 1:14am

Every Day Is Parents' Day
(Special Folder)

Note that Allah enjoined us to be kind to parents right after He enjoined us to worship Him, which gives an idea of how important is it to treat them with kindness and mercy. Such treatment should be the norm, whether our parents are Muslims or not, for we are ordered to treat all people justly regardless of their belief.

Islam guides us to obey parents in all matters unless it is sinful

http://www.islamonline.net/English/In_Depth/ShariahAndHumanity/articles/2007/03/01.shtml

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 20 November 2009 at 6:55am
Challenges of Old Age
 
Although, the entire experience has been an enduring as well as a learning one, the small rewards of a smile or her contentment resonates deeply and provides satisfaction to the soul. To arrive to this level of feeling satisfaction has not been an easy one. The challenges have been an immense one from the physical care, to the emotional, plus the added frailty of the relation. Being a part of what is called the 'sandwich generation' has brought on challenges that one wouldn't have conceived prior to actually facing it. An elderly in any form of need has to be added on as another child of the family from the perspective of responsibility and nurturing. 

Reading the countless verses of the Holy Quran and sayings from the Hadith in reference to the treatment of parents, we are aware of the multiple blessings of being kind to parents and treating them with honour. At times, not uttering an
'ugh!' can be a difficult task when your parent himself/herself is struggling through mental and physical issues. An example may be of an elderly parent hallucinating and accusing their child of wrong-doing or another test may be trying to feed an elderly parent when the parent is not complying. 
 
As with the challenges of raising children, from the pain of childbirth to helping them become independent, the pain and the trials are eventually forgotten. The physical pain and inconvenience brought into our lives by the actions of caring is sifted out while the cherished memories of the special bond remains. What is left is a satisfaction of the end product of a family life....

http://www.islamicity.com/articles/Articles.asp?ref=IC0902-3819



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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Cyra Replybullet Posted: 20 November 2009 at 3:45pm
Very informative, but it leaves me wondering still...  Is it not against islam to force one's son to marry someone when he is engaged to someone else?  In other words, they reject the fiancee for non-islamic reasons or the family wants someone to stay and care for the elderly parent because the son lives in another country and extended family no longer want to do so?
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 21 November 2009 at 12:21am
As a general rule, forcing an adult person to do something against their own free will is wrong.
 
The case you describe is however a bit complicated, as in theory it's the duty of both sons, or at least one of them, to take care of their elderly parent, before it being the responsibility of the extended family
 
If the two sons agree that the one who lives in the same country will take care of their parent, while the second son who is living abroad will help say with financial support, that's an acceptable arrangement
 
If however they both refuse to take care of their elederly parent who needs support, and if the extended family can't manage it themselves, then in theory they would have some justification in doing what they can to convince the son who lives in the same country to bear his responsibility
 
But there is another way out: if the son does not want to marry the girl they want him to marry, and he is able to take his parent into his own home when he marries his fiance, then the problem would be solved
 
Can he do that?
 
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 21 November 2009 at 1:41pm
Originally posted by Cyra

Very informative, but it leaves me wondering still...  Is it not against islam to force one's son to marry someone when he is engaged to someone else?  In other words, they reject the fiancee for non-islamic reasons or the family wants someone to stay and care for the elderly parent because the son lives in another country and extended family no longer want to do so?
 
Assalaamualekum
Sister Cyra....maybe if the fiance is willing to take care of the future husband's family and can somehow convince them that she has no problem with it, then maybe there is a good chance...the son's responsibility is towards his parents...but if the fiance loves him, wont it give her greater joy(not to mention additional rewards from Allah swt) to share his responsibilities...
 
Can't the parents shift to live with the son?
 
Sorry for the many what ifs and questions but it would make the situation a little clearer if you could perhaps explain these points...
 
God Bless
 
 


Edited by a well wisher - 21 November 2009 at 1:45pm
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