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a well wisher  
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 25 January 2015 at 2:19pm
THE TRAUMA OF HEALING

All healing involves trauma, the re-opening of old wounds. Healing does not always look or feel good, pretty or kind.

One of the most dangerous myths we have inherited is that healing is supposed to 'feel good'. No. Sometimes our pain actually increases as the darkness emerges into the light. But the pain actually indicates that the healing process is intensifying, not stalling.

There is such a tendency in our culture to avoid suffering, distract ourselves from it, label it as 'wrong' or 'negative', meditate or medicate it away, prevent the experience of it (and of course there is great intelligence in this too!). Much of our Western medicine is geared towards the removal of symptoms, the calming of disruption, the numbing of chaos and the journey towards some socially acceptable idea of 'normality'.

But sometimes, friends, we no longer have any interest in 'returning to normal'! The 'normal' was the problem, not the solution! The status quo needed to shift. It was unstable and false.

Sometimes our fragile 'normality' needs to break open into chaos, the pain needs to be felt more fully, the heart needs to break open more intensely. This is not to destroy us, but to destroy inauthentic modes of being.

Suffering is not a punishment from a judgemental god, nor a mistake in a broken universe, nor evidence of our failure and unenlightened ignorance, but a profoundly alive spiritual teaching.


Consider the possibility that within your suffering you are being invited to let go, to 'put away childish things', to wake up from the dream of normality and embrace life in all its brokenness and wonder. To fall in love with where you are. To be here, now.

Let the winds blow, let the tempests rage, let all that is false be purified, let all that is dead remain dead, let life explode where you are. You are only being invited to a deeper healing, even though it feels like pain, even though the heart is tender and raw, even though you cannot yet feel your tomorrows.

God is here.

-JEFF FOSTER
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 27 January 2015 at 6:00pm
Morrie: Lessons On Living (with Ted Koppel)



tune.pk/video/5792719/morrie-lessons-on-living-with-ted-koppel-8

(9 mins)

Edited by a well wisher - 27 January 2015 at 6:02pm
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 28 January 2015 at 6:15am
“So often we experience things in life, and yet never see the connections between them. When we are given hardship, or feel pain, we often fail to consider that the experience may be the direct cause or result of another action or experience. Sometimes we fail to recognize the direct connection between the pain in our lives and our relationship with Allah SWT”

“There’s something amazing about this life. The very same worldly attribute that causes us pain is also what gives us relief: Nothing here lasts. What does that mean? It means that the breathtakingly beautiful rose in my vase will wither tomorrow. It means that my youth will neglect me. But it also means that the sadness I feel today will change tomorrow. My pain will die. My laughter won’t last forever but neither will my tears. We say this life isn’t perfect. And it isn’t. It isn’t perfectly good. But, it also isn’t perfectly bad, either.”



~Yasmin Mogahed, Reclaim Your Heart



Edited by a well wisher - 28 January 2015 at 6:17am
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 31 January 2015 at 4:44pm

“Perhaps our dreams are there to be broken, and our plans are there to crumble, and our tomorrows are there to dissolve into todays, and perhaps all of this is all a giant invitation to wake up from the dream of separation, to awaken from the mirage of control, and embrace whole-heartedly what is present. Perhaps it is all a call to compassion, to a deep embrace of this universe in all its bliss and pain and bitter-sweet glory. Perhaps we were never really in control of our lives, and perhaps we are constantly invited to remember this, since we constantly forget it. Perhaps suffering is not the enemy at all, and at its core, there is a first-hand, real-time lesson we must all learn, if we are to be truly human, and truly divine. Perhaps breakdown always contains breakthrough. Perhaps suffering is simply a right of passage, not a test or a punishment, nor a signpost to something in the future or past, but a direct pointer to the mystery of existence itself, here and now. Perhaps life cannot go 'wrong' at all.”

“Why does it often take extreme life situations to bring back an awareness of the magic and mystery of life? Why do we often wait until we’re about to die before discovering a deep gratitude for life as it is? Why do we exhaust ourselves seeking love, acceptance, fame, success, or spiritual enlightenment in the future? Why do we work or meditate ourselves into the grave? Why do we postpone life? Why do we hold back from it? What are we looking for exactly? What are we waiting for? What are we afraid of? Will the life we long for really come in the future? Or is it always closer than that?”

"In one sense, we are all radically alone. I cannot experience your experience. You cannot experience my experience. Nobody can live for me, or die for me, experience pain for me, or joy for me. Nobody can cry for me, or laugh for me, or dance for me. I go through all of these intimately personal experiences in radical aloneness.
But to stay with that aloneness, to face it, to sink into the great mystery of it, that is the key! For right at the heart of our aloneness we discover our true connection."

"…right now, we stand on sacred and holy ground, for that which will be lost has not yet been lost, and realising this is the key to unspeakable joy. Whoever or whatever is in your life right now has not yet been taken away from you. This may sound trivial, obvious, like nothing, but really it is the key to everything, the why and how and wherefore of existence. Impermanence has already rendered everything and everyone around you so deeply holy and significant and worthy of your heartbreaking gratitude.

Loss has already transfigured your life into an altar!"

"This moment, whatever shape it takes, has no opposite. Investigate this very deeply, for this insight is the key to unimaginable peace."



~JEFF FOSTER- The Deepest Acceptance~
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 01 February 2015 at 3:52am
Susan Desmond-Hellmann, MD, MPH, ithe Chancellor of the University of California, San Francisco interviews Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. David Agus, Dr. Wayne Dyer in a panel discussion after their individual keynotes on health and wellness at Dreamforce 2013.

http://tune.pk/video/4038105/deepak-chopra-and-friends-qampa-with-dr-susan-desmond-hellmann

(30 mins)
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 02 February 2015 at 8:12am
The Gift in the Storm-Dr.Wayne Dyer

It is the spring of 2003. I am 62 years old and going through my very first bout of extended deep sadness. I sleep for long periods of time, can’t seem to get myself motivated to do much of anything, and have lost at least 25 pounds. I don’t feel like eating, and I have to force myself to get outside and continue my daily running practice. People close to me often ask if I have some sort of illness that I don’t want to talk about. I know I am in a state of depression.

Today I remove the laminated card from my shirt pocket and read Castaneda’s words softly to myself: “In the universe there is an unmeasurable, indescribable force which sorcerers call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link.” I am enthralled by this idea of intention not being something that we do, but rather an energy that we are connected to.

I put the card back in my front pocket, feeling the impact of these words. We are all connected to an indescribable, invisible field called intent—all I have to do to heal myself is cleanse myself of the numbness that I feel, and my connecting link to this great Source called intent will be once again whole.

I begin to see that I have been wallowing in my ego, and I’m filled with deep sadness because I retreated to an ordinary level of consciousness. I temporarily lost my connection to God—to the field Castaneda is calling intent...


http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/the-gift-in-the-storm/
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 04 February 2015 at 6:11pm
Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Bruce Lipton discuss "The Biology Of Belief" on the Hay House Radio Stage at the I Can Do It! conference in Las Vegas.





www.dailymotion.com/video/xf1pwy_dr-wayne-dyer-dr-bruce-lipton-2-of_lifestyle

(8mins)
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 09 February 2015 at 5:43am
Anne Lamott on Grief, Grace, and Gratitude

“Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be,” Joan Didion wrote in her magnificent meditation on the subject. But oftentimes, grief doesn’t exactly come — not with the single-mindedness and unity of action the word implies. Rather, it creeps up — through the backdoor of the psyche, slowly, in quiet baby steps, until it blindsides the heart with a giant’s stomp. And yet it is possible to find between the floorboards a soft light that awakens those parts of us that go half-asleep through the autopilot of life.

That’s precisely what Anne Lamott — one of the most intensely original writers of our time — explores in Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace (public library | IndieBound), the same magnificent volume of reflections on grief, gratitude, and forgiveness that gave us Lamott onthe uncomfortable art of letting yourself be seen.

From the very preface, titled “Victory Lap,” Lamott stops the stride:

The worst possible thing you can do when you’re down in the dumps, tweaking, vaporous with victimized self-righteousness, or bored, is to take a walk with dying friends. They will ruin everything for you.

First of all, friends like this may not even think of themselves as dying, although they clearly are, according to recent scans and gentle doctors’ reports. But no, they see themselves as fully alive. They are living and doing as much as they can, as well as they can, for as long as they can.

They ruin your multitasking high, the bath of agitation, rumination, and judgment you wallow in, without the decency to come out and just say anything. They bust you by being grateful for the day, while you are obsessed with how thin your lashes have become and how wide your bottom.

She recounts one spring-morning hike in the Muir Woods with her friend Barbara, who was being slowly snatched from life by Lou Gehrig’s disease — “you could see the shape of her animal, and bones and branches and humanity” — and Barbara’s girlfriend of thirty years, Susie. Lamott writes:

When you are on the knife’s edge — when nobody knows exactly what is going to happen next, only that it will be worse — you take in today. So here we were, at the trailhead, for a cold day’s walk.


She recalls bearing witness to her friend Sue’s experience — a friend younger than she but “already wise, cheeky, gentle, blonde, jaundiced, emaciated, full of life, and dying of cancer.” Shortly after Sue received her final fatal diagnosis, Lamott recounts the New Year’s Day phone call in which Sue gave her the news:

I just listened for a long time; she went from crushed to defiant.

“I have what everyone wants,” she said. “But no one would be willing to pay.”

“What do you have?”

“The two most important things. I got forced into loving myself. And I’m not afraid of dying anymore.”

With her signature blend of piercing wisdom administered via piercing wit, Lamott writes:

This business of having been issued a body is deeply confusing… Bodies are so messy and disappointing. Every time I see the bumper sticker that says “We think we’re humans having spiritual experiences, but we’re really spirits having human experiences,” I (a) think it’s true and (b) want to ram the car.


http://www.dailygood.org/story/939/anne-lamott-on-grief-grace-and-gratitude-maria-popova/
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 11 February 2015 at 10:53am
Buddhist Teacher Jack Kornfield On Gratitude, The Mindful Revolution, And Learning To Embrace Suffering

Why is gratitude an essential component of a spiritual life?

If we see the world as sacred, which is an expression of the spiritual life, then gratitude follows immediately and naturally. We've been given the extraordinary privilege of incarnating as human beings -- and of course the human incarnation entails the 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows, as it says in the Tao Te Ching -- but with it we have the privilege of the lavender color at sunset, the taste of a tangerine in our mouth, and the almost unbearable beauty of life around us, along with its troubles. It keeps recreating itself. We can either be lost in a smaller state of consciousness -- what in Buddhist psychology is called the "body of fear," which brings suffering to us and to others -- or we can bring the quality of love and appreciation, which I would call gratitude, to life. With it comes a kind of trust. The poet Pablo Neruda writes, "You can pick all the flowers, but you can't stop the spring." Life keeps recreating itself and presenting us with miracles every day.

It's easier for us to feel grateful for things that make us happy and that make life easy for us. But how do we learn to be grateful for life's "10,000 sorrows"?

I remember my meditation master in the jungles of Thailand who would ask at times, Where have you learned more compassion? Where have you learned more? Where has your heart grown wiser -- in just having good times, or going through difficulties? There's a Buddhist-oriented therapy in Japan called Naikan Therapy, and one part of that training is to review your life and begin to remember all the things you have gratitude towards, even the things that were difficult and taught you lessons. Or even the people that were difficult, sometimes in your own family -- [remembering] the gratitude you have for family, that they're even there.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/05/buddhist-teacher-jack-kor_n_5249627.html
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 14 February 2015 at 5:20pm
My Greatest Fear

A very dear friend of mine recently asked me a question, to which I immediately knew the answer. He asked me, “What is your greatest fear?” Had this question been asked to me when I was young, I might have, with full confidence, said, ‘Roaches.’ Or a few years ago I might have said, ‘Placing my trust in someone, only then to have them break it.’ Or perhaps I would have said, ‘Torture inflicted upon the spirit.’

At this time, the answer came easily, and was from deep within me: My greatest fear is that after being gifted by Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), time and time again, being brought from darkness to light (time and time again), after believing in the beauty of God so full heartedly, that one day—in a state of heedlessness or when hit by a great calamity, that I turn my back on all that was, is and will be.

Over the past few years I have seen people who seem so incredibly strong, whose hearts are so filled with a passion to get to know their Lord, and then a hardship strikes—harder than ever expected, and they turn back. They throw away all the gems and jewels and they settle for rocks and pebbles. I do not mean that they struggle along the way, because we all do, I mean that they turn their backs and walk into silence. And the thing is—I know that I am not above this. I know that I too can find myself, one day, in that same sorrowful situation, and it terrifies me.

Two days after this conversation with my friend, I was sitting in a gathering with a sheikh (scholar). The students began to speak of different karamaat (unique miracles) of saints. They wanted to dive into this subject, as they were fascinated by all the possibilities. The sheikh kept diverting the conversation elsewhere, but they kept bringing it back to the same subject. Finally, he addressed the situation head on. He said that today people are so obsessed with the karamaat of this sheikh or that sheikh—of tales of walking on water and speaking from behind the veils of death itself...

He then went on to say something revolutionary (for me): There is only one karama that a person should seek, should beg for, should ultimately crave: Istiqama (staying firm in faith). Being steadfast in our belief in God, following His commands and above all, our love for Him. This is the ultimate gift of God to His servant.

How does one strive for istiqama? Through seeking Him. Asking Him. Through seeking assistance in Him through patience and prayer. Never giving up hope even in times of what feels like divine abandonment. Again, patience and prayer. This means that we should not only have patience, nor should we simply pray. Rather to actually seek assistance in patience and prayer. To run to sujud (prostration) when the inner walls of our being begin to cave in—be it from our own experience or experiencing through someone else’s eyes and heart. It is about praying with our heart in our hands and handing over our hearts to the One who created the hearts—the one who controls the hearts, and the One who heals the hearts.

http://www.virtualmosque.com/islam-studies/islam-101/belief-and-worship/my-greatest-fear/
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 18 February 2015 at 10:25am
Thinking About Healing

A good question is a great gift. A good question can cohere a community or transform one’s identity. A good question can change one’s life.
A good question came to me in 1997 or thereabouts and I offered it to the community. A group of women gathered to address the question, and over time, approximately seventy-five women met regularly with me on Wednesday mornings to consider the question and allow themselves to be changed by the answers. We became the women who were carrying such a question and our lives reflected it. We didn’t keep it to ourselves; it was just that we considered it faithfully week after week, in all its dimensions. Men joined us, of course, in considering it but seemed unable to give the time regularly to it. Or it was more risky for a man to carry it for there was no way to do so without being changed in every aspect of one’s life.

In 1997, the question was: What will it mean to be a healer in the 21st century?

In 2000 the question became: What does it mean to be a healer in the 21st century?


The questions I began asking in 1977 when I had cancer have developed and guided my life as I write this more than thirty years later. Then I understood that “Disease is a messenger that advises us to change our lives.” The messenger came in the form of story and we began to expand the process of diagnosis to include the story of the illness, the story the illness was involving us in, its historic, familial, ancestral, circumstantial, political, environmental, metaphoric, spiritual components. We looked at dreams and synchronicities as rigorously as we looked at imbalances, growths and pain. We also began to understand the full spiritual implications of “imbalance,” “unlimited growth” and “pain and suffering.” The particular illnesses we were suffering and the circumstances of our lives constituted and revealed the paths we were being called to walk. Illness became initiation and a journey. Accordingly we were called to ‘Heal the life so the life can heal us.”

The life that we are to heal, however, is not only our personal life.   Our lives exist in a context. We have to live in the ways that are healing for ourselves, our families, our human and non-human communities and the earth – then we can heal – otherwise, really, it isn’t possible. Healing can be as ‘contagious’ as illness; this is one of its great strengths. Healing depends upon vital interdependency while ecologies are the best models for healing systems.


http://deenametzger.net/thinking-about-healing/
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2015 at 3:01pm
Mutiny of the Soul ---Charles Eisenstein

Depression, anxiety, and fatigue are an essential part of a process of metamorphosis that is unfolding on the planet today, and highly significant for the light they shed on the transition from an old world to a new.

When a growing fatigue or depression becomes serious, and we get a diagnosis of Epstein-Barr or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or hypothyroid or low serotonin, we typically feel relief and alarm. Alarm: something is wrong with me. Relief: at least I know I’m not imagining things; now that I have a diagnosis, I can be cured, and life can go back to normal. But of course, a cure for these conditions is elusive.

The notion of a cure starts with the question, “What has gone wrong?”
But there is another, radically different way of seeing fatigue and depression that starts by asking, “What is the body, in its perfect wisdom, responding to?” When would it be the wisest choice for someone to be unable to summon the energy to fully participate in life?

The answer is staring us in the face. When our soul-body is saying No to life, through fatigue or depression, the first thing to ask is, “Is life as I am living it the right life for me right now?” When the soul-body is saying No to participation in the world, the first thing to ask is, “Does the world as it is presented me merit my full participation?”

What if there is something so fundamentally wrong with the world, the lives, and the way of being offered us, that withdrawal is the only sane response? Withdrawal, followed by a reentry into a world, a life, and a way of being wholly different from the one left behind?

The unspoken goal of modern life seems to be to live as long and as comfortably as possible, to minimize risk and to maximize security. We see this priority in the educational system, which tries to train us to be “competitive” so that we can “make a living”. We see it in the medical system, where the goal of prolonging life trumps any consideration of whether, sometimes, the time has come to die. We see it in our economic system, which assumes that all people are motivated by “rational self-interest”, defined in terms of money, associated with security and survival. (And have you ever thought about the phrase “the cost of living”?) We are supposed to be practical, not idealistic; we are supposed to put work before play. Ask someone why she stays in a job she hates, and as often as not the answer is, “For the health insurance.” In other words, we stay in jobs that leave us feeling dead in order to gain the assurance of staying alive. When we choose health insurance over passion, we are choosing survival over life.

On a deep level, which I call the soul level, we want none of that. We recognize that we are here on earth to enact a sacred purpose, and that most of the jobs on offer are beneath our dignity as human beings. But we might be too afraid to leave our jobs, our planned-out lives, our health insurance, or whatever other security and comfort we have received in exchange for our divine gifts. Deep down, we recognize this security and comfort as slaves’ wages, and we yearn to be free.

So, the soul rebels. Afraid to make the conscious choice to step away from a slave’s life, we make the choice unconsciously instead. We can no longer muster the energy to go through the motions. We enact this withdrawal from life through a variety of means. We might summon the Epstein-Barr virus into our bodies, or mononucleosis, or some other vector of chronic fatigue. We might shut down our thyroid or adrenal glands. We might shut down our production of serotonin in the brain. Other people take a different route, incinerating the excess life energy in the fires of addiction. Either way, we are in some way refusing to participate. We are shying away from ignoble complicity in a world gone wrong. We are refusing to contribute our divine gifts to the aggrandizement of that world...



http://beyondmeds.com/2015/01/22/mutiny-of-the-soul/
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 25 February 2015 at 4:14pm
Death: the Key to the Door of Life


There is no need to be afraid of death. It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we’re alive – to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a façade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are. Every individual human being born on this earth has the capacity to become a unique and special person unlike any who has ever existed before or will ever exist again. But to the extent that we become captives of culturally defined role expectations and behaviors – stereotypes, not ourselves, -- we block our capacity of self-actualization. We interfere with our becoming all that we can be.

Death is the key to the door of life. It is through accepting the finiteness of our individual existences that we are enabled to find the strength and courage to reject those extrinsic roles and expectations and to devote each day of our lives – however long they may be – to growing as fully as we are able. We must learn to draw on our inner resources, to define ourselves in terms of the feedback we receive from our own internal valuing system rather than trying to fit ourselves into some illfitting stereotyped role.

It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives; for when you live as if you’ll live forever, it becomes too easy to postpone the things you know that you must do. You live your life in preparation for tomorrow or in remembrance of yesterday, and meanwhile, each day is lost. In contrast, when you fully understand that each day you awaken could be the last you have, you take the time that day to grow, to become more of who you really are, to reach out to other human beings. […]

Use this growth not selfishly, but rather in service of what may be, in the future tide of time. Never allow a day to pass that did not add to what was understood before. Let each day be a stone in the path of growth. Do not rest until what was intended has been done. But remember – go as slowly as is necessary in order to sustain a steady pace; do not expend energy in waste. Finally, do not allow the illusory urgencies of the immediate to distract you from your vision of the eternal

Those who have been immersed in the tragedy of massive death during wartime, and who have faced it squarely, never allowing their senses and feelings to become numbed and indifferent, have emerged from their experiences with growth and humanness greater than that achieved through almost any other means.

You have to temper the iron. Every hardship is an opportunity that you are given, an opportunity to grow. To grow is the sole purpose of existence on this planet Earth. You will not grow if you sit in a beautiful flower garden, but you will grow if you are sick, if you are in pain, if you experience losses, and if you do not put your head in the sand, but take the pain as a gift to you with a very, very specific purpose.”

There is no joy without hardship. If not for death, would we appreciate life? If not for hate, would we know the ultimate goal is love? At these moments you can either hold on to negativity and look for blame, or you can choose to heal and keep on loving.


For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.


I’ve told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation...


--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, from "Death: The Final Stage of Growth"
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 26 February 2015 at 9:44am
Letter to My Grandson


Change is difficult for all of us. The older we get, the more change we face. All change involves loss, and whenever we lose something, we ache to have it back. Everything I have lost in my life -- big things and little things -- I've wanted back at first.


So because we know that all change is loss and all loss is change, your mom and dad worried about how you would react when it was time to give your beloved pacifier -- your "binky".

Now that you're four, you no longer have your binky; you have nothing to protect you from your anxiety. That's why transitions are hard. Those transitional objects give us the illusion of security. When they are gone, we are left with the insecurity that's been there all along.

Sam, almost everything we become attached to we'll eventually lose; our possessions, our loved ones, and even our youth and health. Yes, each loss is a blow. But it's also an opportunity. There's an old Sufi saying: "When the heart weeps for what it's lost, the soul rejoices for what it's gained."

As much as anyone who loves you would like to rescue you from your pain and give the binky right back to you, that wouldn't be a good idea. Each stage of growth involves loss. Without it, you can't have the gain.

So when you feel the pain of loss, please don't grab at something to take away the pain. Just have faith that pain, like everything else, is transitional. Through it, you will learn about your ability to deal with adversity. You will learn about how you manage stress. You will feel pride. On the other side of pain, you will learn something about who you are.

A friend of mine recently told me she had so many difficulties in her life that she felt like she was living in a nightmare and didn't know what to do. I told her to find the bus station and wait for the bus! She looked at me like I was crazy. I explained that all emotions are temporary, and we can wait for them to pass as though we were waiting for a bus. We can wait with frustration, anger or feelings of victimhood, but that won't make the bus come any faster. We could wait with patience and relaxation, but that wouldn't make the bus come faster either! We just have to have faith that it's coming.

--Daniel Gottlieb, in Letters to Sam
La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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