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Al-Cordoby  
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Topic: How to Live a Happy Marriage in Islam?
    Posted: 03 April 2013 at 3:36pm
There are many ingredients for a happy and successful marriage in Islam, which is described as half the religion.

This first article by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, from Toronto's IIT, is titled

Five Cs of a Happy Marriage: Legacy of the Prophet


My recipe for a successful marriage comes from reflections on the Prophetic legacy: The prophet’s exemplary character has guided my efforts in building a blissful marriage.

The Prophet is indeed the greatest benefactor for me, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of my life.

I would distill this Prophetic wisdom, into a few key words all starting with ‘C’: connection, companionship, compassion, charity, compromise and contentment...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 04 April 2013 at 4:02am
Homes Are Built on Love

There are three necessary conditions for every Muslim home to fulfill its mission. They are tranquility, love, and mercy.

I mean by tranquility satisfaction. A husband should be totally satisfied by his wife and vice versa. Love is a mutual feeling that makes the relationship a happy and enjoyable one and mercy is the basis of all good traits in men and women.

God, tells Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the Quran:

{Thus it is due to mercy from God that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you.} (Al-Mai’dah 3: 159)

Mercy is not a temporary feeling of sympathy. It is rather a continuous flow of niceness, high morals, and honorable attitude.

A home that is based on stable tranquility, committed love, and kind mercy, makes marriage the best blessing on earth. This home will overcome all obstacles and will only produce good children!

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/450492-homes-are-built-on-love.html
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 06 April 2013 at 12:14am
Marriage: God's Gift to Humanity

In Islam, one knows by getting married, he is not only getting a partner for life, he is getting his whole world put on the right balance. From now until the rest of his days his spouse will be his best friend, companion and one with whom the sharing of rearing righteous children would be a joy and a great actualization of all the dreams one had prior to marriage.

Unlike the modern male/female relationships, the commitment in marriage gives one the sense that they have now someone to share their joys, sorrows, successes and failures. One is not discarded like a used book in the trash once an undesirable situation or a serious sickness strikes him. Differences are dealt within an understanding and kind manners.

Who would be a better person to keep your top secrets, give you sincere advice and be understanding when you are having a hard time, losing your job or having a bad day than a faithful spouse?

God gives the best description regarding the closeness of the spouses to each other in the Quranic verse: {…they are your garments and you are their garments…} (Al Baqarah 2: 187) 

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455038-marriage-gods-gift-to-humanity.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 07 April 2013 at 12:27am

Toward a Happy Married Life

A Successful Marriage: The Missing Link

... extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love.

He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”—the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving...

The Prophet, peace be upon him, has also said:

“A believing man should not hate a believing woman (wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)

Allah says: “…Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (4:19)

In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.

Mutual Love

On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands?

Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Qur’an and Sunnah, with regards to wives...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457188-a-successful-marriage-the-missing-link.html

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 08 April 2013 at 12:16am

Advice to New Muslimahs Considering Marriage

Take Your Time

The period after accepting Islam is a period of learning, growth and adjustment; not only in terms of learning about Islam and the practical application of it to daily life, but also in terms of learning about the Muslim community and its cultural practices.

Having grown up in a non-Muslim community, it can take a long time to understand the subtle nuances of your new faith and community.

It can take at least a year or so for you to start growing into it and discovering what works best for you. So it is better to take your time and wait until you have settled into Islam before looking for a husband, as this will help you to choose one who has a similar understanding of the deen to you...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 10 April 2013 at 12:05am

Seven Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse

(An Islamic Perspective)

1. Ask Yourself: Why Am I Getting Married?

This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective.

Marriage is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

As well, “my intention should be I am looking for someone with whom I will build a family,” says Imam Muhammad Nur Abdullah, a member of the North American Fiqh Council. He conducted pre-marriage counseling in the U.S. for two decades.

“Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together,” he adds.

2. Ask Yourself: What Am I Looking For In a Spouse?

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Al Bukhari & Muslim)

This of course, applies to women as well...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452591-seven-etiquettes-of-seeking-a-spouse.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:36am
Understanding Marriage in Islam

The objective and the goal of marriage in Islam according to the above Quranic verse is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility.

It is important for us to reflect on these words and their significance in the Islamic frame of reference.

In order to have peace, certain conditions must be met. These prerequisites to peace are justice, fairness, equity, equality and fulfillment of mutual rights...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452249-understanding-marriage-in-islam.html

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 2:38am

Sustaining Spousal Love

Quell Insecurity, Give Space

Any adult needs ‘space’ to succeed; to enable Allah let them grow and morph into what they are destined to be. This space comprises of their personal independence and freedom of choice within the broad boundaries of all actions and endeavors that are permissible in Islam.

Whether it is their time, profession, choices in clothing, lifestyle, or ways of making and spending money, as long as their choices do not result in the disobedience of Allah, they are supposed to be free to do as they please - as responsible, sensible and mature adults.

A healthy marriage allows - rather, facilitates - the growth and personal success of both spouses. The result of a happy marriage shows on both of them in the form of good health, self-confidence, increased productivity and a more ‘buoyant’ disposition and demeanor.

The more caring, respectful and trusting each spouse is of the other; the more the latter grows, thrives and matures because of the union...

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/communication/460383-sustaining-spousal-love.html



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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Greekrevert Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 7:24am
mashAllah i believe that there is alot of truth said in the above...but i also believe that it takes two to make a successful marriage,
communication, respect, understanding, humour and sacrifice seem to be high up on my list...
 
being a revert I thought it would all be roses when I got married, thinking that my muslim husband would be everything that islam portrays....and being in the process of still learning myself, he would support me, guide me, protect me and help me in my struggle...i couldnt have got it more wrong
 
having now come out on the other side as a divorcee....whilst i still believe in marriage....I have learnt that just because one is a muslim, or marrying another muslim doesnt mean they are not prone to human flaws...and failed marriages are just as rife in islam
 
i agree with the brother above that alot needs to be put into that marriage from both sides...and alot of research BEFORE marrying needs to be done...making sure people are marrying for the right reasons etc.
 
subhanAllah
 
 


Edited by Greekrevert - 13 April 2013 at 7:25am
Sahih International:

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

Qur'an 94:5
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 7:49am
Originally posted by Greekrevert

i agree with the brother above that alot needs to be put into that marriage from both sides...and alot of research BEFORE marrying needs to be done...making sure people are marrying for the right reasons etc.
 
subhanAllah
 


That's very true, and that's why the engagement phase is so important as it gives both sides time to make sure they are making the right decision.

I strongly recommend this article written by a revert sister in the UK on how revert sisters should be careful before taking the final decision of getting married:

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Greekrevert Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 11:10am
then again some people change while they are in a marriage....i think there is a hadith....or a saying that says....dont exaggerate your love for someone...because you may end up hating them...and dont exaggerate your hate for someone because you may end up loving them.....
 
i think moderation is best either way
Sahih International:

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

Qur'an 94:5
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2013 at 11:47pm
Yes, moderation is always the best approach, you're quite right

Married couples can also help each other grow in faith, and if they both reach the state of taqwa, they will take care of each other through hardships and through good times.

This article titled (Enjoying Married Life the Halal Way) gives useful advice for the newly wed to grow together in faith and taqwa:

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462144-newly-married-seeking-allah-together.html 

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 14 May 2013 at 11:29pm
A Happy Marriage Makes a Healthy Family (Folder)

A happy marriage needs a solid foundation and continuous care to grow and flourish.

If love, care and respect are lacking, any relationship would be in vain, and marriage is no exception.

In Islam we have a wealth of divine guidelines and wisdom to ensure Muslims succeed in building healthy families, even in today's complicated, unstable and fast changing world.

In Islam the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife are very well-defined, and so are the rights and duties of parents towards their children. The role of Islamic law in this context is to ensure that each partner gets all their rights, with both treating each other honorably with full respect. Even in case of dispute, honor and mutual respect should still govern the spouses' relationship.

This folder sheds light on the different phases a marriage goes through in Islam, starting from the initial engagement stage, and gives expert answers to questions often asked...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/in-focus/455616-islam-and-marriage.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 17 May 2013 at 11:38pm
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yasir Fazaga

In this TV series of 28 episodes on Peace TV, Sheikh Yasir Fazaga talks about the foundations of a happy marriage in Islam

In this first episode, he explains the concept of love in Islam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIq-8BV1Xao&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(10 minutes)

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