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Al-Cordoby  
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 19 May 2013 at 12:18am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga

In the second Peace TV episode, Sheikh Yassir talks about male-female relationship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmQR3rmRa9A&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(11 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 20 May 2013 at 12:23am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 4

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir continues on the topic of male-female relationships, and compares 2 types of relations: a temporary connection and a marriage relation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_wrB0r2200&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A


(13 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 25 May 2013 at 4:20am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 5

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir talks about the myth that we have about love, and how devastating that can become to us later on as we move on in our marital life:

Are successful marriages accidental?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aesgwgz2LuE&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(12 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 01 June 2013 at 11:10pm
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 6

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir answers the question:

Is romantic love a need?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76pWaPsgHeU&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(13 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 13 July 2013 at 11:27pm

Happily Ever After?

Our Expectations of Marriage

Fairytale endings rarely happen but that doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship.

Find out how to set realistic expectations for your marriage and nurture your bond with your partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=O45jG0uIz9s

(11 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 14 July 2013 at 10:43pm
It Takes Two to Communicate

Good communication is vital to all successful marriages.

Discover how you can achieve this essential trait in your marriage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgaUoLxPuA

(10 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 16 July 2013 at 12:30am
Effective Communication

Find out how to go beyond the "script" and learn new tips on how to improve communication in your marriage.

When people are in an argument they are not really listening.

Try to listen to what your spouse is saying in order to understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7sdW79D3ss

(7 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 16 July 2013 at 10:58pm
Listening and Bonding

As spouses we want to be heard and understood but we often don't have the patience to listen.

By sincerely listening to our partners we take an important step toward embodying the Quranic paradigms of marital love and mercy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYG-QSz4gD0

(6 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 17 July 2013 at 11:27pm
Mutual Consultation

A key to success in marriage is the ability to positively consult and influence one another.

The Quran describes mutual consultation as a characteristic of believers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_wCv-N9y0Q

To learn more visit www.marriagesuccess.ca!

(7 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 19 July 2013 at 12:28am
De-Escalation

Discover how to de-escalate conflicts and foster greater harmony with your spouse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bE9P6coAec

To learn more visit www.marriagesuccess.ca!

(7 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 20 July 2013 at 12:32am
Money Fights

Fighting over finances is one of the most common problems in marriage.

Learn how to avoid conflict and work together!

Learn more at www.marriagesuccess.ca!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsX3TnbtNMg

(7 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 20 July 2013 at 11:10pm
The In-Laws

How do you strike a balance between your marriage and the demands of your in-laws?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIYiNYIrmXs

(8 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 21 July 2013 at 11:21pm
Domestic Violence

Domestic violence harms both the abuser and the abused.

What can we learn from the Prophet's example concerning this global problem?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXKZO1sNpn0

(8 minutes)

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2013 at 10:45pm

Emotional bullying and being a ‘loser’ in marriage

A few weeks ago, an article was widely circulated about a woman whose husband told her he was leaving and she decided to ‘ignore’ him (and his feelings) until they magically disappeared (See: http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him#) .

As I read the article, I did something different. Instead of putting myself in *her* shoes, I put myself in his. What I discovered was disturbing at best…

 She diagnosed the problem as being 100% outside herself, and then proceeded to just ignore it, and wait for it to go away. That is basically everything you should *not* do in a relationship or on the path of self-development.

There was absolutely no introspection or reflection on *anything* that perhaps she could change in herself to improve the relationship (starting perhaps from learning to acknowledge and respect other people’s feelings, beyond our own—even when you don’t particularly *like* them). Instead, she framed the entire situation as him being the irrational child and her being the selfless martyr. I don’t see what she did as martyrdom. I see it as oppression and emotional bullying. And I think it says a lot about the compassion we have as a society when her actions are not only tolerated, but applauded.

The article’s wide acclaim sends a chilling message about our society: that perhaps we are more interested in just *controlling* other people’s behaviors, than we are in *understanding* them.To think that we are ever just passive bystanders of our problems or that the problems in our lives are 100% someone else’s fault, is self-centered and just plain wrong.

See “Marriage is For Losers” (http://drkellyflanagan.com/2012/03/02/marriage-is-for-losers/ ) for a beautiful example of the better way to make a marriage strong. (The previous article seems like a great example of what Dr. Kelly refers to as the ‘second type’ of unhealthy marriage in his piece.)

Dr. Kelly describes an entirely different approach to healthy marriages. He writes:

But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other.  These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.

In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution.It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.          
 
And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.

Dr. Kelly further writes: “Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick.”

Until we start seeing the world through the lens of compassion—rather than judgment—we will never succeed at building a society of relationships founded on understanding, selflessness, and self-improvement.

 
La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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