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Al-Cordoby  
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 16 January 2014 at 4:02am

How to Make Our Marriages Work:

Essential Criteria for Finding a Suitable Spouse

Since the family is the core of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet insisted his followers enter into marriage prescribing rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility...

Marriage is more than just a ring on your finger; it’s a bond between two people that should grow over time and add value to their life. But being married is not always easy, despite its many benefits. Like most things in life, it is marked by highs and lows...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467979-essential-criteria-for-finding-a-suitable-spouse.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 28 January 2014 at 1:18am
Is Marriage Like Dating?

Brother Nouman Ali Khan explains the importance of being prepared for marriage, which is a life-long commitment, not like dating which can change from one year to the next

Marry for the right reasons to have a healthy relationship with your spouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-f1oNzC-Yw


(8 minutes)


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 08 February 2014 at 4:04pm

The Sunnah of Love

In important dimension of domestic marital problems, as I see, is that the Sunnah of Love and Gallantry seems to be overlooked or dismissed as a long-gone era. The Sunnah, that is taught at times, seems to overlook amazing instances of passion, valor, fidelity and sacrifice in the name of true love. Instances from the life of the Prophet sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam and his companions builds a comprehensive system of devotion – a Sunnah of Love.

Love. The real kind – the genuine love between a man and his wife that stems from a seed of love that is planted by Allah in the hearts of those who are true in submission to the Dispenser of Love and Comfort.

A seed, literally and figuratively, in Arabic symbolizes love.

Houb in Arabic is derived from the same root for the word Haab – seed. The nature of the two words is functionally similar.

Love begins as a tiny speck – a seed that is buried deep in the folds of a receptive heart, carrying the potential of stunning beauty, nourishing sustenance, exotic delicacy, wealth of commodity, shading shelter, and resurgent growth that is stabilized through deep roots that withstand trauma.

La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 18 February 2014 at 8:05am

For a Happy Muslim Family:

How to Honor In-Laws to Make Marriage Work

One of the keys of honoring one’s in-laws lies in expecting there to be ‘double standards’ in their love for, and treatment of, a son- or daughter-in-law versus their own biological offspring.

When a man or woman expects that his or her parents in law will always love their blood offspring more, they will not get hurt when seemingly ‘unjust’ treatment is meted-out towards them in the future...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/469141-how-to-honor-in-laws-to-make-marriage-work.html

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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 20 February 2014 at 12:35am

When Reverts Marry - Battling the Culture Clash

What are some of the most common issues new Muslims encounter in inter-cultural marriages?

How can they approach these issues to come to a solution to prevent major conflicts in the marriage?

In this article series, I will provide some examples of the most common marital conflicts that can occur when people of two different cultures marry, while one of them is a revert...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469351-when-reverts-marry-battling-the-culture-clash-.html




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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 24 February 2014 at 2:02am

Toward a Happy Marital Life:

How to Keep a Successful Islamic Marriage

If we understand that everyone makes mistakes, then it will be logical to forgive your spouse because you also – and I guarantee it – will make mistakes that beg for forgiveness.

It’s conceptually like a mother who’s facing her own crying, annoying, and ill child. The weird thing would be to cry back at the child that she loves, while very well understanding that he/she is ill or has a high fever.

In the same way the spouse, either husband or wife, could be angered or irritated, whether rightfully or for an unacceptable reason, he/she will still be the same beloved husband/wife in the end. Risking the entire marriage and relationship just for that moment of anger is as ridiculous as that mother crying back at her own beloved child...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457820-how-to-keep-a-successful-islamic-marriage.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 02 March 2014 at 6:12am
Often what happens when people first get married, is that one spouse suppresses who they really are, to try to fit the mold the other spouse has for them. This spouse mutes their own voice in hopes of pleasing the other person. Ironically, the other person still won't be pleased. The way out of this trap, that some couples never escape, has 2 parts:

1. The spouse who suppressed what they really are-their feelings, needs and opinions-must find value in their authentic selves without need for validation. Value yourself, detached from the *need* for approval from the other person. This is key. Once you really do this, you will be able to express that voice (feelings, needs, opinions) without fear of being rejected or deemed unworthy and inadequate. Only when *you* find and value your own voice, will others value it also. If *you* don't value you, others won't either.

2. The spouse with the 'mold' needs to enable this opening by creating a safe and supportive space for their spouse to open up and express themselves. You may even complain that your spouse doesn't open up and express themselves--but you haven't created a safe space for them either. Throw away your mold and learn to value the uniqueness in your spouse. Help them develop the courage to express the beauty of the voice they already have inside them. Stop trying to mold them into what you think they should be, and make it safe for them to flourish into the beauty of what they already are.
 
 
~Yasmin Mogahed~
La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 05 March 2014 at 1:53am

Working Muslim Mothers: How to Reduce Stress

If you are a working mother, these tips may help reduce the tensions of balancing career, family and home.

Purify Your Intentions and Reasons to Work

Writing out clear intentions as to why you are working will reduce substantial stress and pave a route for a balanced life full of sakeenah (tranquility). This does not mean challenges will not crop up in the future, but making intentions to please Allah through a career, will help you focus on what is important in building a career...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469889-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 06 March 2014 at 3:11am

Working Muslim Mothers: How to Reduce Stress - Part 2

The first part of this article gave five suggestions to help working Muslim mothers cope with their work and family responsibilities:

1- Purify your intentions and reasons to work.

2- Openly discuss your career with your husband

3- Have an open line of communication with your employer

4- Seek out the best and safest childcare for the children

5- Plan your week wisely

this second part, five more useful suggestions to help alleviate the burden of working mothers...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469903-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress-part-2.html
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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 09 March 2014 at 2:26am

Five Cs of a Happy Marriage: Legacy of the Prophet

My recipe for a successful marriage comes from reflections on the Prophetic legacy:

The prophet’s exemplary character has guided my efforts in building a blissful marriage.

The Prophet is indeed the greatest benefactor for me, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of my life.

I would distill this Prophetic wisdom, into a few key words all starting with ‘C’: connection, companionship, compassion, compromise and contentment...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 17 March 2014 at 4:19am

Towards a Happy Marital Life:

Success in Marriage: Is It All About Compromise?

Do you expect the moon of your spouse?

Do you take time to focus on your spouse's strengths?

Unmet expectations tend to frustrate all involved. Are your expectations too high or unrealistic?...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/470295-success-in-marriage-its-all-about-compromise.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 18 March 2014 at 8:12am
How To Deal With Money Fights In Marriage? (Watch)

Muslim Experts from Canada Respond (Marital Counseling)

Couples fight about money more than anything else, especially in our rapidly growing materialistic world. And the challenges can actually start even before getting married.

Communication is the key to most marital financial challenges. By honoring each other and knowing one’s rights and duties, you will be able to reach an agreement...

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/economics/470363-money-fights-between-spouses.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote Al-Cordoby Replybullet Posted: 22 April 2014 at 4:31am
Eight Things to Do After Saying I Do

Do you know your husband more than his mother?

The relationship between you should transcend the boundaries of spouses and extend to the level of friendship.

Strive to meet in the middle and learn to bite your tongue,
swallow your pride, and compromise. It really can ease a sticky situation, and could be a cause to celebrate...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/446819-what-to-do-after-saying-qi-doq.html


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Rating: 0 of 0 votes Quote a well wisher Replybullet Posted: 23 April 2014 at 4:57pm
A Higher Ground for Our Marriages

The Prophet, peace and blessings upon him, mentioned concerning the fast, “One who does not abandon false speech and acting on its imperatives, God has no need that he gives up his food and drink” (Bukhari, 1903). These narrations emphasize that there is far more to Islam than a mere adherence to rulings.

This is especially true in our marriages. Too many Muslims are involved in marriages that devolve into an empty observation of duties and an equally vacuous demand for the fulfillment of rights. While such practices are laudable in their proper context, when they are divorced from kindness, consideration, empathy, and true commitment they define marriages that become a fragile caricature. Such relationships are irreparably shattered by a silly argument, a few wrinkles on the face, unwanted pounds around the waist, a personality quirk or a whimsical desire to play the field to see if one can latch on to someone prettier, wealthier, younger, or possibly more exciting than one’s spouse.

These are issues that affect men and women. However, we men must step up and do our part to help to arrest the alarmingly negative state of gender relations in our communities. The level of chivalry the current crisis demands does not require that we pretend to be blind for twenty years. However, it does require some serious soul searching, and it demands that we ask ourselves some hard questions.
...


La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah
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