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How to Live a Happy Marriage in Islam?

Printed From: WhyIslam.org
Category: Learn About Islam
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URL: http://www.whyislam.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=29874
Printed Date: 21 August 2019 at 10:22am
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Topic: How to Live a Happy Marriage in Islam?
Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Subject: How to Live a Happy Marriage in Islam?
Date Posted: 03 April 2013 at 3:36pm
There are many ingredients for a happy and successful marriage in Islam, which is described as half the religion.

This first article by Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, from Toronto's IIT, is titled

Five Cs of a Happy Marriage: Legacy of the Prophet


My recipe for a successful marriage comes from reflections on the Prophetic legacy: The prophet’s exemplary character has guided my efforts in building a blissful marriage.

The Prophet is indeed the greatest benefactor for me, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of my life.

I would distill this Prophetic wisdom, into a few key words all starting with ‘C’: connection, companionship, compassion, charity, compromise and contentment...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html


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Replies:
Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 04 April 2013 at 4:02am
Homes Are Built on Love

There are three necessary conditions for every Muslim home to fulfill its mission. They are tranquility, love, and mercy.

I mean by tranquility satisfaction. A husband should be totally satisfied by his wife and vice versa. Love is a mutual feeling that makes the relationship a happy and enjoyable one and mercy is the basis of all good traits in men and women.

God, tells Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the Quran:

{Thus it is due to mercy from God that you deal with them gently, and had you been rough, hard hearted, they would certainly have dispersed from around you.} (Al-Mai’dah 3: 159)

Mercy is not a temporary feeling of sympathy. It is rather a continuous flow of niceness, high morals, and honorable attitude.

A home that is based on stable tranquility, committed love, and kind mercy, makes marriage the best blessing on earth. This home will overcome all obstacles and will only produce good children!

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/450492-homes-are-built-on-love.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/450492-homes-are-built-on-love.html


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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 06 April 2013 at 12:14am
Marriage: God's Gift to Humanity

In Islam, one knows by getting married, he is not only getting a partner for life, he is getting his whole world put on the right balance. From now until the rest of his days his spouse will be his best friend, companion and one with whom the sharing of rearing righteous children would be a joy and a great actualization of all the dreams one had prior to marriage.

Unlike the modern male/female relationships, the commitment in marriage gives one the sense that they have now someone to share their joys, sorrows, successes and failures. One is not discarded like a used book in the trash once an undesirable situation or a serious sickness strikes him. Differences are dealt within an understanding and kind manners.

Who would be a better person to keep your top secrets, give you sincere advice and be understanding when you are having a hard time, losing your job or having a bad day than a faithful spouse?

God gives the best description regarding the closeness of the spouses to each other in the Quranic verse: {…they are your garments and you are their garments…} (Al Baqarah 2: 187) 

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455038-marriage-gods-gift-to-humanity.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455038-marriage-gods-gift-to-humanity.html




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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 April 2013 at 12:27am

Toward a Happy Married Life

A Successful Marriage: The Missing Link

... extensive research has found that a man’s primary need is for respect, while a woman’s primary need is for love.

He describes what he calls the “crazy cycle”—the pattern of argumentation that results when the wife does not show respect and the husband does not show love. He explains how the two reinforce and cause one another. In other words, when a wife feels that her husband is acting unloving, she often reacts with disrespect, which in turn makes the husband act even more unloving...

The Prophet, peace be upon him, has also said:

“A believing man should not hate a believing woman (wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Muslim)

Allah says: “…Live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (4:19)

In these jewels of wisdom, men are urged to be kind and loving towards their wives. Moreover, they are urged to overlook their wife’s faults when showing that kindness and love.

Mutual Love

On the other hand, when addressing the wife, the focus is different. Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands?

Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them. And it is this sentiment which is most stressed in the Qur’an and Sunnah, with regards to wives...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457188-a-successful-marriage-the-missing-link.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457188-a-successful-marriage-the-missing-link.html



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 08 April 2013 at 12:16am

Advice to New Muslimahs Considering Marriage

Take Your Time

The period after accepting Islam is a period of learning, growth and adjustment; not only in terms of learning about Islam and the practical application of it to daily life, but also in terms of learning about the Muslim community and its cultural practices.

Having grown up in a non-Muslim community, it can take a long time to understand the subtle nuances of your new faith and community.

It can take at least a year or so for you to start growing into it and discovering what works best for you. So it is better to take your time and wait until you have settled into Islam before looking for a husband, as this will help you to choose one who has a similar understanding of the deen to you...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html -



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 10 April 2013 at 12:05am

Seven Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse

(An Islamic Perspective)

1. Ask Yourself: Why Am I Getting Married?

This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective.

Marriage is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

As well, “my intention should be I am looking for someone with whom I will build a family,” says Imam Muhammad Nur Abdullah, a member of the North American Fiqh Council. He conducted pre-marriage counseling in the U.S. for two decades.

“Marriage is a commitment and relationship that starts in this Dunya (world) and will continue Insha Allah in Paradise together,” he adds.

2. Ask Yourself: What Am I Looking For In a Spouse?

Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty and for their religion, but marry one who is religious and you will succeed” (Al Bukhari & Muslim)

This of course, applies to women as well...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452591-seven-etiquettes-of-seeking-a-spouse.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452591-seven-etiquettes-of-seeking-a-spouse.html




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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:36am
Understanding Marriage in Islam

The objective and the goal of marriage in Islam according to the above Quranic verse is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility.

It is important for us to reflect on these words and their significance in the Islamic frame of reference.

In order to have peace, certain conditions must be met. These prerequisites to peace are justice, fairness, equity, equality and fulfillment of mutual rights...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452249-understanding-marriage-in-islam.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/452249-understanding-marriage-in-islam.html



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 13 April 2013 at 2:38am

Sustaining Spousal Love

Quell Insecurity, Give Space

Any adult needs ‘space’ to succeed; to enable Allah let them grow and morph into what they are destined to be. This space comprises of their personal independence and freedom of choice within the broad boundaries of all actions and endeavors that are permissible in Islam.

Whether it is their time, profession, choices in clothing, lifestyle, or ways of making and spending money, as long as their choices do not result in the disobedience of Allah, they are supposed to be free to do as they please - as responsible, sensible and mature adults.

A healthy marriage allows - rather, facilitates - the growth and personal success of both spouses. The result of a happy marriage shows on both of them in the form of good health, self-confidence, increased productivity and a more ‘buoyant’ disposition and demeanor.

The more caring, respectful and trusting each spouse is of the other; the more the latter grows, thrives and matures because of the union...

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/communication/460383-sustaining-spousal-love.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/communication/460383-sustaining-spousal-love.html





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Greekrevert
Date Posted: 13 April 2013 at 7:24am
mashAllah i believe that there is alot of truth said in the above...but i also believe that it takes two to make a successful marriage,
communication, respect, understanding, humour and sacrifice seem to be high up on my list...
 
being a revert I thought it would all be roses when I got married, thinking that my muslim husband would be everything that islam portrays....and being in the process of still learning myself, he would support me, guide me, protect me and help me in my struggle...i couldnt have got it more wrong
 
having now come out on the other side as a divorcee....whilst i still believe in marriage....I have learnt that just because one is a muslim, or marrying another muslim doesnt mean they are not prone to human flaws...and failed marriages are just as rife in islam
 
i agree with the brother above that alot needs to be put into that marriage from both sides...and alot of research BEFORE marrying needs to be done...making sure people are marrying for the right reasons etc.
 
subhanAllah
 
 


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Sahih International:

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

Qur'an 94:5


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 13 April 2013 at 7:49am
Originally posted by Greekrevert

i agree with the brother above that alot needs to be put into that marriage from both sides...and alot of research BEFORE marrying needs to be done...making sure people are marrying for the right reasons etc.
 
subhanAllah
 


That's very true, and that's why the engagement phase is so important as it gives both sides time to make sure they are making the right decision.

I strongly recommend this article written by a revert sister in the UK on how revert sisters should be careful before taking the final decision of getting married:

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/459634-advice-to-new-muslimahs-considering-marriage.html



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Greekrevert
Date Posted: 13 April 2013 at 11:10am
then again some people change while they are in a marriage....i think there is a hadith....or a saying that says....dont exaggerate your love for someone...because you may end up hating them...and dont exaggerate your hate for someone because you may end up loving them.....
 
i think moderation is best either way


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Sahih International:

For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.

Qur'an 94:5


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 13 April 2013 at 11:47pm
Yes, moderation is always the best approach, you're quite right

Married couples can also help each other grow in faith, and if they both reach the state of taqwa, they will take care of each other through hardships and through good times.

This article titled (Enjoying Married Life the Halal Way) gives useful advice for the newly wed to grow together in faith and taqwa:

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462144-newly-married-seeking-allah-together.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462144-newly-married-seeking-allah-together.html  



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 14 May 2013 at 11:29pm
A Happy Marriage Makes a Healthy Family (Folder)

A happy marriage needs a solid foundation and continuous care to grow and flourish.

If love, care and respect are lacking, any relationship would be in vain, and marriage is no exception.

In Islam we have a wealth of divine guidelines and wisdom to ensure Muslims succeed in building healthy families, even in today's complicated, unstable and fast changing world.

In Islam the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife are very well-defined, and so are the rights and duties of parents towards their children. The role of Islamic law in this context is to ensure that each partner gets all their rights, with both treating each other honorably with full respect. Even in case of dispute, honor and mutual respect should still govern the spouses' relationship.

This folder sheds light on the different phases a marriage goes through in Islam, starting from the initial engagement stage, and gives expert answers to questions often asked...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/in-focus/455616-islam-and-marriage.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/in-focus/455616-islam-and-marriage.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 May 2013 at 11:38pm
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yasir Fazaga

In this TV series of 28 episodes on Peace TV, Sheikh Yasir Fazaga talks about the foundations of a happy marriage in Islam

In this first episode, he explains the concept of love in Islam

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIq-8BV1Xao&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIq-8BV1Xao&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(10 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 May 2013 at 12:18am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga

In the second Peace TV episode, Sheikh Yassir talks about male-female relationship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmQR3rmRa9A&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmQR3rmRa9A&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(11 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 20 May 2013 at 12:23am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 4

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir continues on the topic of male-female relationships, and compares 2 types of relations: a temporary connection and a marriage relation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_wrB0r2200&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_wrB0r2200&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A


(13 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 25 May 2013 at 4:20am
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 5

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir talks about the myth that we have about love, and how devastating that can become to us later on as we move on in our marital life:

Are successful marriages accidental?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aesgwgz2LuE&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aesgwgz2LuE&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(12 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 01 June 2013 at 11:10pm
Before You Say "I Do" - Sheikh Yassir Fazaga - Part 6

In this episode, Sheikh Yassir answers the question:

Is romantic love a need?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76pWaPsgHeU&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76pWaPsgHeU&list=PL9D2B63F59D92D90A

(13 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 13 July 2013 at 11:27pm

Happily Ever After?

Our Expectations of Marriage

Fairytale endings rarely happen but that doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship.

Find out how to set realistic expectations for your marriage and nurture your bond with your partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=O45jG0uIz9s - http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=O45jG0uIz9s

(11 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 14 July 2013 at 10:43pm
It Takes Two to Communicate

Good communication is vital to all successful marriages.

Discover how you can achieve this essential trait in your marriage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgaUoLxPuA - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROgaUoLxPuA

(10 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 16 July 2013 at 12:30am
Effective Communication

Find out how to go beyond the "script" and learn new tips on how to improve communication in your marriage.

When people are in an argument they are not really listening.

Try to listen to what your spouse is saying in order to understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7sdW79D3ss - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7sdW79D3ss

(7 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 16 July 2013 at 10:58pm
Listening and Bonding

As spouses we want to be heard and understood but we often don't have the patience to listen.

By sincerely listening to our partners we take an important step toward embodying the Quranic paradigms of marital love and mercy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYG-QSz4gD0 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYG-QSz4gD0

(6 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 July 2013 at 11:27pm
Mutual Consultation

A key to success in marriage is the ability to positively consult and influence one another.

The Quran describes mutual consultation as a characteristic of believers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_wCv-N9y0Q - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_wCv-N9y0Q

To learn more visit www.marriagesuccess.ca!

(7 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 July 2013 at 12:28am
De-Escalation

Discover how to de-escalate conflicts and foster greater harmony with your spouse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bE9P6coAec - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bE9P6coAec

To learn more visit www.marriagesuccess.ca!

(7 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 20 July 2013 at 12:32am
Money Fights

Fighting over finances is one of the most common problems in marriage.

Learn how to avoid conflict and work together!

Learn more at www.marriagesuccess.ca!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsX3TnbtNMg - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsX3TnbtNMg

(7 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 20 July 2013 at 11:10pm
The In-Laws

How do you strike a balance between your marriage and the demands of your in-laws?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIYiNYIrmXs - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIYiNYIrmXs

(8 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 21 July 2013 at 11:21pm
Domestic Violence

Domestic violence harms both the abuser and the abused.

What can we learn from the Prophet's example concerning this global problem?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXKZO1sNpn0 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXKZO1sNpn0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIYiNYIrmXs - (8 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 28 July 2013 at 10:45pm

Emotional bullying and being a ‘loser’ in marriage

A few weeks ago, an article was widely circulated about a woman whose husband told her he was leaving and she decided to ‘ignore’ him (and his feelings) until they magically disappeared (See: http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him# - http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/the-last-word-he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him# ) .

As I read the article, I did something different. Instead of putting myself in *her* shoes, I put myself in his. What I discovered was disturbing at best…

 She diagnosed the problem as being 100% outside herself, and then proceeded to just ignore it, and wait for it to go away. That is basically everything you should *not* do in a relationship or on the path of self-development.

There was absolutely no introspection or reflection on *anything* that perhaps she could change in herself to improve the relationship (starting perhaps from learning to acknowledge and respect other people’s feelings, beyond our own—even when you don’t particularly *like* them). Instead, she framed the entire situation as him being the irrational child and her being the selfless martyr. I don’t see what she did as martyrdom. I see it as oppression and emotional bullying. And I think it says a lot about the compassion we have as a society when her actions are not only tolerated, but applauded.

The article’s wide acclaim sends a chilling message about our society: that perhaps we are more interested in just *controlling* other people’s behaviors, than we are in *understanding* them.To think that we are ever just passive bystanders of our problems or that the problems in our lives are 100% someone else’s fault, is self-centered and just plain wrong.

See “Marriage is For Losers” ( http://drkellyflanagan.com/2012/03/02/marriage-is-for-losers/ - http://drkellyflanagan.com/2012/03/02/marriage-is-for-losers/ ) for a beautiful example of the better way to make a marriage strong. (The previous article seems like a great example of what Dr. Kelly refers to as the ‘second type’ of unhealthy marriage in his piece.)

Dr. Kelly describes an entirely different approach to healthy marriages. He writes:

But there is a third kind of marriage. The third kind of marriage is not perfect, not even close. But a decision has been made, and two people have decided to love each other to the limit, and to sacrifice the most important thing of all—themselves. In these marriages, losing becomes a way of life, a competition to see who can listen to, care for, serve, forgive, and accept the other the most. The marriage becomes a competition to see who can change in ways that are most healing to the other, to see who can give of themselves in ways that most increase the dignity and strength of the other.  These marriages form people who can be small and humble and merciful and loving and peaceful.

In marriage, losing is letting go of the need to fix everything for your partner, listening to their darkest parts with a heart ache rather than a solution.It’s being even more present in the painful moments than in the good times. It’s finding ways to be humble and open, even when everything in you says that you’re right and they are wrong. It’s doing what is right and good for your spouse, even when big things need to be sacrificed, like a job, or a relationship, or an ego. It is forgiveness, quickly and voluntarily. It is eliminating anything from your life, even the things you love, if they are keeping you from attending, caring, and serving. It is seeking peace by accepting the healthy but crazy-making things about your partner because, you remember, those were the things you fell in love with in the first place. It is knowing that your spouse will never fully understand you, will never truly love you unconditionally—because they are a broken creature, too—and loving them to the end anyway.          
 
And they are revolutionary, in the purest sense of the word.

Dr. Kelly further writes: “Maybe marriage, when it’s lived by two losers in a household culture of mutual surrender, is just the training we need to walk through this world—a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out—without the constant fear of getting the short end of the stick.”

Until we start seeing the world through the lens of compassion—rather than judgment—we will never succeed at building a society of relationships founded on understanding, selflessness, and self-improvement.

 
http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2013/06/28/emotional-bullying-and-being-a-loser-in-marriage/ - http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2013/06/28/emotional-bullying-and-being-a-loser-in-marriage/


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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 31 August 2013 at 12:42am
Love & Marriage - Selecting Your Life Partner: Etiquette in Islam

A talk by sister Yasmin Mogahed

The Presentation covered the following topics:

- The concept of love in Islam, how love for Allah triumphs over anything else.

- Brotherhood / Sisterhood familial love, maintaining Gender relations the permissible way.

- How to determine who is the right partner and when to make that call.

- The Etiquette in Islam

Presented on February 23, 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1znHn0x6D7w - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1znHn0x6D7w

(61 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 02 September 2013 at 11:24pm
Love, Respect & Tranquility in a Marriage

A talk by sister Yasmin Mogahed


Love, Respect, Anger shared Responsibilities between Husband and Wife in maintaining tranquility in a Marriage.

Sister Yasmin touches upon anger management, the Prophetic way of interpreting manhood and more.

Also she gives practical examples on "unconditional love" the woman deserves and the "unconditional respect" the male deserves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkowK-OXus8 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkowK-OXus8

(44 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 03 September 2013 at 11:54pm
What to Expect After the Wedding?

By: Yasmin Mogahed


A talk on Serenity Radio

Presented on June 22, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A-X2tkEvx4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A-X2tkEvx4

(Audio - 30 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 04 September 2013 at 11:53pm
Muslims in Matrimony

Sister Myriam Francois-Cerrah discusses the rights of man and wife in an Islamic marriage due to misconceptions about this topic.

Islamic Awareness Week 2012 @ University of Exeter (hosted by the Students' Islamic Society and Exeter Mosque).

Friday 16th March 2012

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKnQp7E2bGw - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKnQp7E2bGw

(8 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 September 2013 at 2:13am
Muslims in Matrimony: Q&A Session

Sister Myriam Francois-Cerrah answers questions following her talk at the
Islamic Awareness Week 2012 at the University of Exeter at this URL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54GCXeMzPtQ - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54GCXeMzPtQ

(18 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 15 September 2013 at 3:13pm

For a Successful and Happy Marriage:

Enjoying Married Life the Halal Way

Thankfully, the beauty of undertaking Islamic activities with one’s spouse as a form of leisure, is that there is great benefit and blessings in “mixing business with pleasure”!

Remembering God in the Natural Outdoors

Whether it is attending late-night cocktail parties at clubs, bars or elitist hotels with other couples, watching adult-themed films at home in bed, or hitting the theaters to catch the trending blockbusters, newlyweds sometime end up committing sins together in the name of romance, enjoyment and leisurely entertainment. They allow themselves to become heedless of God and the limits of Islam whilst blissfully riding the wave of youthful euphoria and gushy romance following their marriage.

The fact is that there are many alternative options for having fun with your spouse the halal way. Even better are those modes of enjoyment that combine the worship and remembrance of God with leisure and relaxation.

It would not just be more enjoyable to go picnicking, hiking, bicycling, kayaking, snorkeling, camping, or sailing - taking in the lovely, sprawling natural outdoors - but such outings will also rejuvenate the couple’s faith in God by allowing them to gaze at and admire the natural beauty that He has spread out through the earth...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462144-newly-married-seeking-allah-together.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462144-newly-married-seeking-allah-together.html



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 September 2013 at 12:02am
Before the Wedding After The Walima

A talk by sister Yasmin Mogahed

What do we go into marriage expecting, and how we need to change that expectation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JekGqkz8WNU - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JekGqkz8WNU

(33 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 02 October 2013 at 11:59pm

Marriage ... What Does That Mean to You?

After coming to Islam, it is very important to focus on your iman (faith), dive head first into Islam and work on a relationship between you and God before even contemplating a relationship with another person. You must learn that God is the only One who will never let you down, who will guide you and give you direction in this life leading you to a pious righteous husband or wife.

Having such a strong developed relationship with God will teach you not to depend on those around you and that God is the only one who can and has the power to help you.

Work on your religion before working on your marriage this is the most sound and cherished advice I ever had as a new Muslim and I hope it serves you as well as it did me, Alhamdulilah...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/464648-marriage-what-does-that-mean-to-you.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/464648-marriage-what-does-that-mean-to-you.html



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 30 October 2013 at 12:36am
The Rights & Responsibilities of Marriage

Brother Nouman Ali Khan in this video talks about rights & responsibilities of husband and wife for
building homes of tranquility http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uwg3VR-03U -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uwg3VR-03U - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Uwg3VR-03U

(15 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 02 November 2013 at 3:39pm
Islam in Europe: Multiculturalism and European Islam

Myriam Francois-Cerrah delivered this presentation on Islam in Europe at Northampton University as part of its diversity day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNa5SK2kec0 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNa5SK2kec0

(33 minutes)



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 20 November 2013 at 4:36am
Ten Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person

There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. 

The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. 

One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone...

If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase,  the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

1) Do Not Marry Potential


Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change.  This is the wrong approach on both accounts.  Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential.  There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better...

2) Choose Character over Chemistry

While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both...

3) Do Not Neglect The  Emotional Needs of Your Partner

Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved.  The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated...

4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans

In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together...

5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity...

6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection...

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage...

http://muslimvillage.com/2011/12/31/17739/musilmvillage-com-top-10-stories-of-2011/ - http://muslimvillage.com/2011/12/31/17739/musilmvillage-com-top-10-stories-of-2011/

 


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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 24 November 2013 at 3:09am
Happy Marriage in Islam For Muslim Men & Women

A nice story by brother Nouman of a Muslim man married to a Christian woman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYcc-UHeS8 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WYcc-UHeS8

(5 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 14 January 2014 at 1:05am

Improving Communication Between Muslim Spouses

Every marriage goes through a unique set of challenges, because every married couple in this world is one-of-a-kind.

As the years pass after tying the nuptial knot, if the communication problems between a husband and his wife are not resolved in time, they can cause permanent damage and irreversibly affect their relationship.

This in turn will have an impact on the character-building and moral upbringing of their children.

There are many steps that spouses can undertake to improve their communication with each other. By trial and error, i.e. by applying different methods at different times and in different situations, they can come up with a workable solution for eliminating their emotional distance and indifference at any phase in life.

Deep Conversations

Most of the time, the most effective form of communication is talking to each other frankly and openly via a deep, uninterrupted conversation, in order to resolve a problem. However, this method might not be applicable at all times, especially if one spouse is totally unwilling to listen or talk to the other...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467909-improving-communication-between-muslim-spouses-.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467909-improving-communication-between-muslim-spouses-.html

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467909-improving-communication-between-muslim-spouses-.html -



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 15 January 2014 at 1:59am
Prophet Muhammad and Marital Counselling

During a Q & A session, Nouman Ali Khan tells us why marital counseling can be vital to sorting out differences between spouses.

http://www.onislam.net/english/component/jvideodirect/?v=h5JH4K4yEdvid - http://www.onislam.net/english/component/jvideodirect/?v=h5JH4K4yEdvid

(6 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

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http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 16 January 2014 at 4:02am

How to Make Our Marriages Work:

Essential Criteria for Finding a Suitable Spouse

Since the family is the core of Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring families into existence, the Prophet insisted his followers enter into marriage prescribing rules to regulate the functioning of the family so that both spouses can live together in love, security, and tranquility...

Marriage is more than just a ring on your finger; it’s a bond between two people that should grow over time and add value to their life. But being married is not always easy, despite its many benefits. Like most things in life, it is marked by highs and lows... http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467979-essential-criteria-for-finding-a-suitable-spouse.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467979-essential-criteria-for-finding-a-suitable-spouse.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467979-essential-criteria-for-finding-a-suitable-spouse.html

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/467979-essential-criteria-for-finding-a-suitable-spouse.html -



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http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 28 January 2014 at 1:18am
Is Marriage Like Dating?

Brother Nouman Ali Khan explains the importance of being prepared for marriage, which is a life-long commitment, not like dating which can change from one year to the next

Marry for the right reasons to have a healthy relationship with your spouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-f1onzC-Yw - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-f1oNzC-Yw


(8 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 08 February 2014 at 4:04pm

The Sunnah of Love

In important dimension of domestic marital problems, as I see, is that the Sunnah of Love and Gallantry seems to be overlooked or dismissed as a long-gone era. The Sunnah, that is taught at times, seems to overlook amazing instances of passion, valor, fidelity and sacrifice in the name of true love. Instances from the life of the Prophet sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam and his companions builds a comprehensive system of devotion – a Sunnah of Love.

Love. The real kind – the genuine love between a man and his wife that stems from a seed of love that is planted by Allah in the hearts of those who are true in submission to the Dispenser of Love and Comfort.

http://www.simplemuslimweddings.com/?attachment_id= - A seed, literally and figuratively, in Arabic symbolizes love.

Houb in Arabic is derived from the same root for the word Haab – seed. The nature of the two words is functionally similar.

Love begins as a tiny speck – a seed that is buried deep in the folds of a receptive heart, carrying the potential of stunning beauty, nourishing sustenance, exotic delicacy, wealth of commodity, shading shelter, and resurgent growth that is stabilized through deep roots that withstand trauma.

http://www.simplemuslimweddings.com/2011/10/30/the-sunnah-of-love/ - http://www.simplemuslimweddings.com/2011/10/30/the-sunnah-of-love/


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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 18 February 2014 at 8:05am

For a Happy Muslim Family:

How to Honor In-Laws to Make Marriage Work

One of the keys of honoring one’s in-laws lies in expecting there to be ‘double standards’ in their love for, and treatment of, a son- or daughter-in-law versus their own biological offspring.

When a man or woman expects that his or her parents in law will always love their blood offspring more, they will not get hurt when seemingly ‘unjust’ treatment is meted-out towards them in the future...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/469141-how-to-honor-in-laws-to-make-marriage-work.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/469141-how-to-honor-in-laws-to-make-marriage-work.html



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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 20 February 2014 at 12:35am

When Reverts Marry - Battling the Culture Clash

What are some of the most common issues new Muslims encounter in inter-cultural marriages?

How can they approach these issues to come to a solution to prevent major conflicts in the marriage?

In this article series, I will provide some examples of the most common marital conflicts that can occur when people of two different cultures marry, while one of them is a revert...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469351-when-reverts-marry-battling-the-culture-clash-.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469351-when-reverts-marry-battling-the-culture-clash-.html






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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 24 February 2014 at 2:02am

Toward a Happy Marital Life:

How to Keep a Successful Islamic Marriage

If we understand that everyone makes mistakes, then it will be logical to forgive your spouse because you also – and I guarantee it – will make mistakes that beg for forgiveness.

It’s conceptually like a mother who’s facing her own crying, annoying, and ill child. The weird thing would be to cry back at the child that she loves, while very well understanding that he/she is ill or has a high fever.

In the same way the spouse, either husband or wife, could be angered or irritated, whether rightfully or for an unacceptable reason, he/she will still be the same beloved husband/wife in the end. Risking the entire marriage and relationship just for that moment of anger is as ridiculous as that mother crying back at her own beloved child... http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457820-how-to-keep-a-successful-islamic-marriage.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457820-how-to-keep-a-successful-islamic-marriage.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457820-how-to-keep-a-successful-islamic-marriage.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 02 March 2014 at 6:12am
Often what happens when people first get married, is that one spouse suppresses who they really are, to try to fit the mold the other spouse has for them. This spouse mutes their own voice in hopes of pleasing the other person. Ironically, the other person still won't be pleased. The way out of this trap, that some couples never escape, has 2 parts:

1. The spouse who suppressed what they really are-their feelings, needs and opinions-must find value in their authentic selves without need for validation. Value yourself, detached from the *need* for approval from the other person. This is key. Once you really do this, you will be able to express that voice (feelings, needs, opinions) without fear of being rejected or deemed unworthy and inadequate. Only when *you* find and value your own voice, will others value it also. If *you* don't value you, others won't either.

2. The spouse with the 'mold' needs to enable this opening by creating a safe and supportive space for their spouse to open up and express themselves. You may even complain that your spouse doesn't open up and express themselves--but you haven't created a safe space for them either. Throw away your mold and learn to value the uniqueness in your spouse. Help them develop the courage to express the beauty of the voice they already have inside them. Stop trying to mold them into what you think they should be, and make it safe for them to flourish into the beauty of what they already are.
 
 
~Yasmin Mogahed~


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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 05 March 2014 at 1:53am

Working Muslim Mothers: How to Reduce Stress

If you are a working mother, these tips may help reduce the tensions of balancing career, family and home.

Purify Your Intentions and Reasons to Work

Writing out clear intentions as to why you are working will reduce substantial stress and pave a route for a balanced life full of sakeenah (tranquility). This does not mean challenges will not crop up in the future, but making intentions to please Allah through a career, will help you focus on what is important in building a career... http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469889-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469889-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469889-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress.html

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469889-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress.html -



-------------
Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 06 March 2014 at 3:11am

Working Muslim Mothers: How to Reduce Stress - Part 2

The first part of this article gave five suggestions to help working Muslim mothers cope with their work and family responsibilities:

1- Purify your intentions and reasons to work.

2- Openly discuss your career with your husband

3- Have an open line of communication with your employer

4- Seek out the best and safest childcare for the children

5- Plan your week wisely

this second part, five more useful suggestions to help alleviate the burden of working mothers...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469903-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress-part-2.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/society/469903-working-muslim-women-how-to-reduce-stress-part-2.html

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http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
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Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 09 March 2014 at 2:26am

Five Cs of a Happy Marriage: Legacy of the Prophet

My recipe for a successful marriage comes from reflections on the Prophetic legacy:

The prophet’s exemplary character has guided my efforts in building a blissful marriage.

The Prophet is indeed the greatest benefactor for me, second only to God, in this as well as in all other aspects of my life.

I would distill this Prophetic wisdom, into a few key words all starting with ‘C’: connection, companionship, compassion, compromise and contentment... http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/462067-five-cs-for-happy-marriage-legacy-of-the-prophet.html -



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 March 2014 at 4:19am

Towards a Happy Marital Life:

Success in Marriage: Is It All About Compromise?

Do you expect the moon of your spouse?

Do you take time to focus on your spouse's strengths?

Unmet expectations tend to frustrate all involved. Are your expectations too high or unrealistic?... http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/470295-success-in-marriage-its-all-about-compromise.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/470295-success-in-marriage-its-all-about-compromise.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/470295-success-in-marriage-its-all-about-compromise.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 18 March 2014 at 8:12am
How To Deal With Money Fights In Marriage? (Watch)

Muslim Experts from Canada Respond (Marital Counseling)

Couples fight about money more than anything else, especially in our rapidly growing materialistic world. And the challenges can actually start even before getting married.

Communication is the key to most marital financial challenges. By honoring each other and knowing one’s rights and duties, you will be able to reach an agreement...

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/economics/470363-money-fights-between-spouses.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/economics/470363-money-fights-between-spouses.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 22 April 2014 at 4:31am
Eight Things to Do After Saying I Do

Do you know your husband more than his mother?

The relationship between you should transcend the boundaries of spouses and extend to the level of friendship.

Strive to meet in the middle and learn to bite your tongue,
swallow your pride, and compromise. It really can ease a sticky situation, and could be a cause to celebrate...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/446819-what-to-do-after-saying-qi-doq.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/446819-what-to-do-after-saying-qi-doq.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 23 April 2014 at 4:57pm
A Higher Ground for Our Marriages

The Prophet, peace and blessings upon him, mentioned concerning the fast, “One who does not abandon false speech and acting on its imperatives, God has no need that he gives up his food and drink” (Bukhari, 1903). These narrations emphasize that there is far more to Islam than a mere adherence to rulings.

This is especially true in our marriages. Too many Muslims are involved in marriages that devolve into an empty observation of duties and an equally vacuous demand for the fulfillment of rights. While such practices are laudable in their proper context, when they are divorced from kindness, consideration, empathy, and true commitment they define marriages that become a fragile caricature. Such relationships are irreparably shattered by a silly argument, a few wrinkles on the face, unwanted pounds around the waist, a personality quirk or a whimsical desire to play the field to see if one can latch on to someone prettier, wealthier, younger, or possibly more exciting than one’s spouse.

These are issues that affect men and women. However, we men must step up and do our part to help to arrest the alarmingly negative state of gender relations in our communities. The level of chivalry the current crisis demands does not require that we pretend to be blind for twenty years. However, it does require some serious soul searching, and it demands that we ask ourselves some hard questions.
...


http://www.newislamicdirections.com/nid/articles/a_higher_ground_for_our_marriages/ - http://www.newislamicdirections.com/nid/articles/a_higher_ground_for_our_marriages/


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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 11 May 2014 at 2:00am

How Marriage Can Enhance Your Productivity

Marriage is a two-way street; it’s not that each person puts in 50-50, but rather both husband and wife need to put in 100% of their effort to make it work.

You will be half of that marriage and so you should learn about how you can be the best spouse for a successful marriage. If you focus on learning and fulfilling your own duties, then your rights will be fulfilled too.

Ultimately, this is not just a matter of ensuring a happy marriage – this is a matter of the Ummah. A happy couple leads to a happy and strong family and therefore emphasis is placed on a successful and strong Ummah which is better for our world insha Allah. 

The family is indeed the core of our community and so the decision of choosing the most suitable spouse and the efforts made to ensure a lasting marriage is highly important.

Now that we’ve discussed the importance of marriage as enhancing one’s productivity, here are a few steps in the formula towards a productive married life...

http://productivemuslim.com/how-marriage-can-enhance-your-productivity/ - http://productivemuslim.com/how-marriage-can-enhance-your-productivity/





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 22 May 2014 at 10:33pm

Marrying a New Muslimah

Undermine Differences by Focusing on the Positives

Will marrying a new Muslim wife turn out to be a boon, or bane, for a Muslim man?

That greatly depends upon the way he perceives, reacts to, and capitalizes on the supposed “differences” between them both...

By loving and respecting his new Muslim wife, and helping her grow in faith the way a farmer nurtures a weak young seedling till it becomes a tall, strong, deeply-rooted and sturdily planted tree, the wise Muslim husband will be planting permanent fruits of righteousness superseding geographical and ethnic boundaries of color, caste and culture.

What could be more in accordance with Islam than becoming that basic link that joins together two families of different origins and cultures, which becomes the ‘doorway’ of demonstrating to them the all-inclusive teachings of this beautiful Deen?

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/472393-marrying-a-new-muslim-wife-a-boon-or-bane-.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/472393-marrying-a-new-muslim-wife-a-boon-or-bane-.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 June 2014 at 12:02am
The Goodbye Hug - Part 1

 In this mini-series, we hope to shed light on the beauty that exists in many Muslim marriages.

Here is just one glimpse of a Muslim couple who truly appreciate the small gestures of love between them. I’ll let the wife tell her story:

“Every morning, my husband gets up, goes and prays fajr (morning prayer) in the masjid, comes home, gets ready for work, and then we have a special goodbye hug before he leaves for the day. That hug energizes both of us for the day and we know it is a very special moment...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/the-goodbye-hug/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/the-goodbye-hug/


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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 08 June 2014 at 5:47am
The Love Letter - Part 2

Many of us have taken someone in our lives for granted.

Sometimes that person has caused us anguish, yet we underestimate how much we love them and how much we would miss them if they were no longer with us.

A widow shares with us a glimpse of her marital bliss ...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/the-love-letter/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/the-love-letter/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 09 June 2014 at 4:37am
Will They Say Yes? - Part 3

Some of us may fear something that sets us apart from others may be the reason they would not consider us for marriage.

This story shows us that what makes us truly unique is the characteristic which can draw someone to love us...
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/withthedivine/will-they-say-yes/ -
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/withthedivine/will-they-say-yes/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 10 June 2014 at 1:49am
From an Arranged Marriage to Deep Love - Part 4

Here is an inspiring narrative of a woman who was married through an arranged marriage, who grew to love her husband with passion and compassion, and who was there for him—as he was there for her—through the thick and thin of life...
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/from-an-arranged-marriage-to-deep-love/ -
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/from-an-arranged-marriage-to-deep-love/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/from-an-arranged-marriage-to-deep-love/


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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 11 June 2014 at 1:28am
Parents & Puppy Love - Part 5

Parents are our first glimpse into understanding the concept of love.

In this narrative, a sister describes the romanticized love she has been blessed to witness from her parents...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/parents-and-puppy-love/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/parents-and-puppy-love/


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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 12 June 2014 at 12:34am
Perspectives on Marriage - Part 6

Different couples have different perspectives on marriage and what it’s really all about.

Below are two different narratives from two different individuals on what marriage is to them...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/perspectives-on-marriage/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/perspectives-on-marriage/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 16 June 2014 at 1:45am
Giving the Love We Want - Part 8

Marriages flourish with compromise, understanding and appreciation on behalf of both spouses.

In this narrative, a wife shares the way in which she was understanding and compromising of her husband’s personal preferences, and the way through which he still understood the importance of him showing his love to her a certain way...


http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/giving-the-love-we-want/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/giving-the-love-we-want/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 15 August 2014 at 3:28pm

Want a Happy Marriage? Watch This!

A lovely reminder for all the married/wannabe married brothers and sisters by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg6i2kMdsco - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mg6i2kMdsco

(10 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 August 2014 at 3:57pm
60 Ways to Keep Your Wife Happy
  1. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Gifts increases love.
  2. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!
http://muslimvillage.com/2014/08/14/56816/60-ways-keep-wife-happy/ - http://muslimvillage.com/2014/08/14/56816/60-ways-keep-wife-happy/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 18 August 2014 at 1:34am
60 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy
  1. Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
  2. Be satisfied with what Allah has allotted.
  3. Remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.
  4. Do not be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job. Look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah for all that is given to you...
http://muslimvillage.com/2014/08/15/56821/60-ways-to-keep-your-husband-happy/ - http://muslimvillage.com/2014/08/15/56821/60-ways-to-keep-your-husband-happy/



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 02 September 2014 at 12:00am
8 Things to Enhance Marital Relationship

According to the Quran, the purpose of marriage is to attain sukun (tranquility and peace), which can never be achieved through impulsive sexual fulfillment unless it is accompanied by mutual love, affection, caring, and sharing, which are all part and parcel of a fulfilling and productive marriage relationship.

Islam, as we know it holistically from the sources, is a balanced way of looking at things.

Following are the 8 important factors that can in sha’ Allah strengthen a marriage relationship in Islam:

1.    Good Attitude

A Muslim must always have a positive attitude toward life. We say, “Alhamdulillah” (Praise be to Allah) for whatever He gives us (or doesn’t give us).

2.    Help

Our Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stressed the importance of men helping their wives and Allah tells us the importance of women being mates and helpers to their husbands. This is a real “win-win” situation, if we just follow it.

3.    Trust

Muslims, men and women are ordered to be trustworthy and follow the example of our prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) as the “Trustworthy”.

4.    Respect

You get respect, when you give respect. This is mandatory for all Muslims toward all people, how much more toward the spouse?

5.    Joy

Our prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to entertain his wife Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and she used to play and race with him. She said, “I used to out-run him, but then when I got heavy he used to outrun me”. He told us to play with our wives and have some fun...

http://www.onislam.net/english/onislam-africa/english/476835-8-things-to-enhance-marital-relationship.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/onislam-africa/english/476835-8-things-to-enhance-marital-relationship.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 08 September 2014 at 12:55am
Happily Ever After? Discussing Troubled Marriage: Dr. Shabir Ally

In popular view, two people fall in love, marry and live happily ever after. But we know this is not reality.

What has gone wrong with our marriages?

What is the Islamic conception of marriage?

How can we have a happy marriage?

Dr. Shabir shares his thoughts from an Islamic perspective.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prMpsjdkra4 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prMpsjdkra4

(9 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 12 September 2014 at 3:17am
What Leads to Marital Bliss in Islam?

How can Muslim youth build happy homes?

When they get back from their honeymoon, most newlyweds find being married is a lot different than being engaged.

What do you do to keep the honeymoon alive?

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/477399-what-leads-to-marital-bliss-in-islam.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/477399-what-leads-to-marital-bliss-in-islam.html



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 15 September 2014 at 3:19am
Marriage as a Cosmic Ideal and Social Reality

A talk by Dr. Umar Faruq Abdullah at the 2nd Annual United For Change Conference - Our Families: Our Foundations Conference - Montreal, Canada
(2010)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b6mFCKXoS0 -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b6mFCKXoS0

(36 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 22 September 2014 at 12:40am
New Muslims: Tips for a Happy Marriage (Part 1)

New Muslims tend to marry quickly after taking their shahadah.

They are told that their spouse can help them grow and learn the deen better, and more quickly.  This is not always the case.

Marriage in the first years is difficult, regardless if religion is a factor or not. Lack of good communication is typically the number one cause for all divorces, even amongst non-Muslims.

The second usually stems around financial problems that arise.

Now, if we throw religion into the mix, it can either cause problems in the marriage, or provide comfort when a problem arises...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/477599-new-muslims-tips-for-a-happy-marriage-part-1.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/477599-new-muslims-tips-for-a-happy-marriage-part-1.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 30 September 2014 at 3:00am
When You Marry for Four Reasons, Don't Forget Your Reason

Marriage is a lifelong commitment that requires compatibility, attraction and personality flow...

When we fail to apply reason in matters of religion, we get pain, destruction and failure, especially in marriage. We cannot live a true path of spirituality if our attempt to follow Islam lacks sincerity, wisdom, and deep reflection on our context and ourselves...

A few points to reflect on:

  • Never ever marry someone you don’t feel right about out of fear or pressure. This is likely to lead to failure. In the end, you and your partner will suffer, not your family, your culture, or even your religion.
  • Marry someone who possesses all four reasons mentioned in the hadith not just religion. This is more likely to succeed and sustain a life long partnership.
  • If religion is important to you, avoid marrying someone who does not have religion, even if the other three reasons are alluring. This is just as unlikely to succeed.
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/beforemarriage/when-you-marry-for-four-reasons-dont-forget-your-reason/ - http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/beforemarriage/when-you-marry-for-four-reasons-dont-forget-your-reason/




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 October 2014 at 5:39am

Tips for a Happy Married Life

Spouses: Actualizing Tranquility, Love, and Mercy

When one finds a caring mate through marriage, one enters a realm of calm, soothing companionship that becomes a source of peace for their soul.

The restlessness, loneliness, irritability, desperation and agitation associated with being a virile but unsatisfied young singleton is gone.

Consequently, the spouses consummately lie together in pleasurable tranquility every night, no longer desiring the company of single friends to eliminate solitude...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457302-spouses-actualizing-tranquility-love-and-mercy.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/457302-spouses-actualizing-tranquility-love-and-mercy.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 12 November 2014 at 1:45am
How to Bring Happiness to a Muslim Family

Nice talk by Sheikh Yasir Birjas at last year's MAS-ICNA convention on good communication, happiness and mercy within the family


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsDxWRMCQfI - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsDxWRMCQfI

(13 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 27 November 2014 at 2:41pm


How many men and women prepare themselves to live as a couple, as a family?

Some think about it, others are already committed to it. We hear of stories… and one is sometimes moved by the expectations and hopes of some, and sometimes saddened by the painful life experiences of others. Perhaps you are also, sisters and brothers, preparing yourselves to engage in this life experience of marriage, known as half of your faith. Or perhaps you have already started sharing your life with someone. In this, your expectations, thank God, were more than met but sometimes doubts have emerged.This… is not what you had expected.

Brothers and sisters, nothing should be idealized.

The perfect husband or the perfect wife only exists in your dreams. God has given you, as He has given others, noble qualities and intelligence. God has given you, as He has given others, faults and deficiencies. Perfection is not given to you or any human being.

It is not enough to share the same faith, the same principles and the same hopes to make an ideal couple. How many young couples have been under the illusion that their future life will be harmonious as if being Muslim was enough for a successful marriage? As if their union was based solely on the meeting of two worlds founded on the same principles that one respects or on the rules which one applies.

This illusion, which yesterday promised a small earthly paradise, today makes life a difficult struggle How many speak about “the principles of marriage in Islam” and actually live the reality of a torn, ravaged and frustrated existence?

Today, more than ever, living as a married couple has become a real challenge. Around us, men and women meet and leave each other in a modern society in which they confuse freedom and the absence of accountability as love and flexibility.


Living as a couple is not without its challenges – preparing yourself, learning and constantly trying to reach out to the other with patience, depth and tenderness. Although it is true that the principles of Islam bring you together, or will bring you together, you must remember each day that the person with whom you share your life comes with his or her own history, wounds, sensitivities and hopes. Learn to listen, to understand, to observe, to accompany.

Living as a couple is the greatest of tests: a test of patience, of attention, of the ability to listen for unspoken words, of self-control, of mending one’s faults, of healing the wounds. In each of these tests, there are two parties. It isn’t easy. A meaningful effort has to be grounded in the deepest sense of spirituality, a jihad, in the most intense meaning of the term. The jihad of love which reminds that feelings have to be taken care of. They are maintained, deepened, rooted through your shared challenges and your patience

Patience and attention to the hearts, in a couple, will lead them towards the light, God willing. Remember, brothers and sisters, the last of the Prophets (peace be on him), an example for eternity, so attentive, so tender, and so patient. He did not only remind the Umma of principles, he enlightened with his presence, his listening, and his love.

Before being the mother of his children, his wife was a woman, his spouse, a person he discovered each day, a person whom he accompanied and who accompanied him; subject of his attention, a testimony of his love. He knew the meaning of silence, the power of a touch, the complicity of a shared glance, the pleasure in a smile, and the kindness found in being attentive.

There are those who idealize the other so much they never really see their partners and those who leave each other too quickly without taking the time to know each other. We are reminded of the principles Islam, its depth, its spirituality, its essence. Living as a couple, forming a relationship, being patient in adversity, loving to the extent of enduring, grounding by way of reforming is an initiation to spirituality. Knowing how to be one with God assures greater comfort in being together as two. A challenge, a test, far from the ideal, close to reality.

Sisters and brothers, you must prepare yourselves to live one of the most beautiful tests of life. It requires all from you, your heart, your conscience, and your efforts. The road is long. One must learn to demand, to share, and to forgive…indefinitely.

Of the things permitted by God, divorce is the most detested. Living as a couple is difficult: remember that your wife is woman before being the mother of your children; remember that your husband is a man before being the father of your children. Know how to live as a couple, within your family…in front of God and in front of your children.

This meeting place, these efforts will result in a sense of protection: They are your garments and you are their garments . Know how to be patient, learn how to be affectionate, offer forgiveness, and you will attain the spirituality of the protected, the proximity of the ones that are close. Faith then becomes your source of light and “his or her” presence, becomes your source of protection; the test of your heart, the energy of your love, half of your faith.

I pray to God that this love be the school of your efforts and the light of your patience.



~Dr.Tariq Ramadan



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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 December 2014 at 3:58am

Making Allah the Heart of Our Marriage

That marriage is ‘half our deen’ is no light statement; because, it requires a weighty amount of hard work and faith to make our marriages the vision of tranquility that Allah intends for us.

So what does it take to ‘dwell in http://quran.com/30/21 - tranquility ’ with our spouses?

There is no exhaustive to-do (or be) list for a successful spouse just as there is no one-size fits all solution to marital challenges. However, the steps below outline the need to start with a strong spiritual foundation- a key prerequisite to becoming a successful Muslim spouse...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/480825-making-allah-the-heart-of-our-marriage.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/480825-making-allah-the-heart-of-our-marriage.html





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 December 2014 at 1:08am
Don't Talk About Your Marriage Problems to Anybody

It is important to keep the secrets of your marriage

Don't Facebook post your problems, rather when needed seek advice from a trusted counselor

It is normal to need to talk to somebody, but don't make it public

Brief advice from brother Nouman Ali Khan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dUBGJHPREU -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dUBGJHPREU

(3 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 23 January 2015 at 2:15am

How to be in Love with your Spouse? |

Dream Muslim Marriage by Shawana A. Aziz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421914688&v=4PI3Mg7RB0k - https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421914688&v=4PI3Mg7RB0k

(9 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: a well wisher
Date Posted: 27 January 2015 at 6:18pm
In the fairy tale, that’s where the story ends. It ends at the finding, the joining, the wedding. It is found at the oneness of two souls. And everyone around you will make you think that your path ends there: at the place where you meet your soul mate, your other half—at the point in the path where you get married. Then and only then, they tell you, will you ever finally be complete. This, of course, is a lie because completion cannot be found in anything other than God. But the lesson you’ve been taught since the time you were little—from every story, every song, every movie, every ad, every well-meaning auntie—is that you aren’t complete otherwise. And if—God forbid—you are one of the ’outcasts’ who haven’t gotten married, or have been divorced, you are considered deficient or incomplete in some way.

The lesson you’re taught is that the story ends at the wedding, and then that’s when Jennah (paradise) begins. That’s when you’ll be saved and completed and everything that was once broken will be fixed. The only problem is, that’s not where the story ends. That’s where it begins.

That’s where the building starts: the building of a life, the building of your character, the building of sabr, patience, perseverance, and sacrifice. The building of selflessness. The building of love.

And the building of your path back to Him.

Yasmin Mogahed, This is Love.



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La ilaha ill-Allah, Muhammadur Rasulullah


Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 03 February 2015 at 2:15am

Put On Smiles: Funny Quotes About Marriage

http://www.onislam.net/english/oimedia/onislamen/images/mainimages/husband%20and%20wife%20in%20the%20car.jpg">

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.” ~ Milton Berle


“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.” ~ Hemant Joshi


“Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.” ~ Nash

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/456779-put-on-smiles-funny-quotes-about-marriage-.html -

http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/456779-put-on-smiles-funny-quotes-about-marriage-.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/456779-put-on-smiles-funny-quotes-about-marriage-.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 05 February 2015 at 7:40am
How to Get Married

The first in a five part video series presented by brother Abdel Rahman Murphy to help you find the one.

Guidance from the Quran, Sunnah and Marital Counseling Experts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-R57PGvUCM - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-R57PGvUCM

(9 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 17 February 2015 at 3:52am
Marriage Success

Dr. Hamid Slimi, Imam of a Toronto mosque, talks in this videos about success factors in marriage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgWhypAZdZA -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgWhypAZdZA

(11 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 23 February 2015 at 8:18am

Building a Happy Home from the Quran & Sunnah

4 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Establishing a marriage based on the love of Allah and thereby a solid foundation between two people can be simple in the early days of a marriage, but is a pain if the structure is built and then you realize that the foundation work is shaky and needs to be redone.

It is best to start with a good foundation.

Make your marriage an act of worship. Love each other for the sake of Allah...
http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/483303-building-a-happy-home-from-the-quran-a-sunnah.html -
http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/483303-building-a-happy-home-from-the-quran-a-sunnah.html



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 March 2015 at 3:14am

How to Get Married: What To Look For

The fourth in a five part video series to help you find the one.

Guidance from the Quran, Sunnah and Marital Counseling Experts.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2h97FkMA2PU - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2h97FkMA2PU

(7 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 26 March 2015 at 4:09am
How to Get Married: Know Your Self

Brother
AbdelRahman Murphy explains in this introduction the importance of knowing one self well in order to be able to find the right spouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-R57PGvUCM -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-R57PGvUCM - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-R57PGvUCM

(6 minutes)



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 01 April 2015 at 3:22am
Marriage Crisis

In this talk, sister Suzy Ismail talks about solutions to some of the common problems facing marriage today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNATDOwj_gY -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNATDOwj_gY

(17 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 02 April 2015 at 2:55pm
How to Get Married: Engaged - What Next?

Brother
AbdelRahman Murphy explains in this video what should engaged couples do after their engagement

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoGNO1V3X7Q - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoGNO1V3X7Q

(6 minutes)




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 08 April 2015 at 3:13am

10 Habits of Happy Muslim Couples

Here are the top 10 habits of Muslim couples who’ve found tranquility and happiness in their marriage:

1. They love each other for Allah’s sake

2. They are grateful for each other

3. They communicate like best friends

4. They never lose focus of each other’s primary needs

5. They are the comfort of each other’s eyes

6. They make each other bloom

7. They make time for each other - no matter what! ...

http://productivemuslim.com/happy-muslim-couples - http://productivemuslim.com/happy-muslim-couples



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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 19 April 2015 at 3:58am
You're on My Heart, my love! 

Suggestions for a Dream Muslim Marriage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCcF4yhO4fo#t=50 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCcF4yhO4fo#t=50

(6 minutes)





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 12 May 2015 at 11:23am

4 Tips for Finding Your Other Half

Four important tips for you to keep in mind:

Kindness

When you first meet someone, you may have instant physical attraction, but this should not be confused with love.

Love is something you must work on. It has to be created and developed between the two of you.

Kindness and giving create love. A love that is giving and kind is based on an internal connection and is more lasting...
http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455250-four-tips-on-finding-your-other-half.html -
http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455250-four-tips-on-finding-your-other-half.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 26 May 2015 at 7:41am

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, How do I get Married to You

In order for a marriage to be successful, it needs to start with a sound choice.

Abu Hurairah (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) as saying:

"Whoever comes to you and you're pleased with their deen and character (khuluq) marry them!" (Tirmidhi)

He (peace be upon him) also said:

"A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust." (Muslim, http://sunnah.com/muslim/17/68 - 1466 )

So you need to set your priorities straight and start off with looking for religiosity and good character.

Who said your spouse can’t look good too or be well off, etc.?

Just don’t compromise religiosity and good character...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/486517-how-does-a-muslim-get-married.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/486517-how-does-a-muslim-get-married.html






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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 August 2015 at 1:49am

Kind Treatment of Wives

God instructs men to be nice to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability:

{…And live with them in kindness…} (Quran http://quran.com/4/19 - 4:19 )

The Messenger of God said:

“The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character. The best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” ( http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/12/17 - At-Tirmidhi )

The Prophet of Mercy tells us that a husband’s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim’s good character, which in turn is a reflection of the man’s faith...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/491181-kind-treatment-of-wives.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/491181-kind-treatment-of-wives.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 25 September 2015 at 2:23pm

Why Did You Marry Your Wife? The Four Reasons

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) gave some very sound advice to the men in his ummah (nation) about what to look for, and give priority to, when seeking a woman for marriage:

Narrated Abu Hurairah:

“A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the religious one, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” ( http://www.sunnah.com/bukhari/67/28 - Al-Bukhari , Ibn Majah)

Sometimes, it really amazes me how timeless the wisdom found in hadiths is. Even though Prophet Muhammad shared these wise words 14 centuries ago, what he said still holds absolutely true today.

We can now look at each of the four criteria he mentioned one by one...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/494089-why-did-you-marry-your-wife-the-four-reasons.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/494089-why-did-you-marry-your-wife-the-four-reasons.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 30 October 2015 at 3:17am

How to Help Muslims Get Married

Tips for Parents and Imams

Open-mindedness and clear communication may reveal a side of your kids that may be hard to swallow.

However, you must remember that marriage primarily affects the two people involved in the relationship. They must like the person they are marrying...

http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455493-how-to-help-muslims-get-married.html - http://www.onislam.net/english/reading-islam/living-islam/islam-day-to-day/family/455493-how-to-help-muslims-get-married.html




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 25 November 2015 at 12:45am

Habits of Happy Productive Muslim Couples: They Love Each Other for the Sake of Allah

Our families are the institutions that build our Ummah. A strong, productive family leads to a strong, productive Ummah. Change starts with us.

"Habits of Happy Productive Muslim Couples" is an animation series to remind all of us -and specifically old and new couples- of a few habits that strengthen the bond between a husband and wife and deepen their love and commitment to one another...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1zAfCGY8As - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1zAfCGY8As

(1 minute)





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 26 November 2015 at 3:53am
Habits of Happy Productive Muslim Couples: They Are Grateful to One Another

"I'm grateful to my spouse because....."

Tell us what makes you grateful towards your spouse.

Let this inspire you to remind yourselves of all the goodness your spouses bring to your life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kSeMfCth8 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kSeMfCth8

(2 minutes)





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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 07 December 2015 at 2:05am
Habits of Happy Productive Muslim Couples: They Make Time for One Another

Busy on your mobile phone all the time?

Too absorbed in your work/with your friends that you are not giving due attention to your spouse? If yes, then this must stop, insha'Allah!

Couples need to make time for each other to increase and deepen their bond. Letting oneself be absorbed in everyday life while neglecting one's spouse might be a major reason why many couples are growing apart this day and age.

Communicate, make time for one another, appreciate and support one another. You're there for him, and he's there for you. Never lose that, insha'Allah.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgrnPhDn6DU - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgrnPhDn6DU

(2 minutes)






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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage



Posted By: Al-Cordoby
Date Posted: 05 February 2016 at 12:22am

How to Get Married – 1: Know Your Self

Are you emotionally ready to get married?

Are you physically and mentally ready for marriage?

Are you financially ready to support and take care of someone else?

Islam encourages young people to get married when they are ready for marriage, and the above questions are important issues each young man or women considering marriage should have clear.

The Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, said:

O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry …” (Hadith in http://www.sultan.org/books/bukhari/062.htm - Al-Bukhari )

This is a first in a five part video series to help you find the right spouse, presented by brother Abdel Rahman Murphy...

http://aboutislam.net/multimedia/videos/how-to-get-married-1-know-your-self/ - http://aboutislam.net/multimedia/videos/how-to-get-married-1-know-your-self/




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Think Win-Win for a better world for all...

http://cortoby.blogspot.com/ - My Blog
http://www.muslimheritage.com/ - Muslim Heritage




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